Growing up, I
heard about the whole Lone Ranger thingy, his faithful sidekick Tonto, and
let’s not forget his horse, Silver. But not once did I ever imagine myself
watching a film about it. Disney decided, “What the heck, let’s turn this
one-time radio show into a movie,” and somehow, they’re disappointed that it’s
not making any money?
When you decide to make a movie of a franchise that was once a radio show, the
first thing you have to look at is your audience. Disney failed to ask the most
important question of all: Are the people who love Lone Ranger and Tonto still
alive?
In addition,
this Lone Ranger movie is 1 hour too long. The Lone Ranger himself
reminded me of the character Rodney (who is popular for being well-informed but
daft) in Only Fools and Horses, as he was a naïve misfit who was nothing
without Tonto.
Another thing to
think about is: Why is Hollywood thinking that longer is better?
Almost every movie released today is over 2 hours long. The problem with these
lengthy movies is that if they’re not well-filled, they’ll make the whole movie
look pointless and blank.
The plot goes
like this: Ambushed by outlaws and left for dead, John Reid is rescued by the
renegade Comanche, Tonto, at the insistence of a mysterious white horse, who
offers to help him bring Cavendish to justice. Becoming a reluctant masked
rider with a seemingly incomprehensible partner, Reid pursues the criminal
against all obstacles. (Plot culled from IMDb.)
Deciding to use
Johnny Depp in a movie doesn’t mean the movie is going to sell. It just means
you wasted a hell of a lot of money trying to force upon us in the 21st century
a show that our grandparents liked.
The makers paid a hell of a lot of money to have Johnny Depp in this movie
because, in the Lone Ranger story, the Lone Ranger is the lead actor and Tonto
is his sidekick. In this movie, it felt like the other way around, with Tonto
being more in control and the Lone Ranger just being a plonker.
Hollywood has
reached a point where new ideas and risks may fail, which is why we’re seeing
remakes, reboots, and a lot of action-hero movies being done over and over
again. There’s a new Wolverine movie coming out, and as I am right now, I’m
sick and tired of the X-Men and anything from it. But what do you expect the
studios to do? John Carter was new, and it flopped. Now, The
Lone Ranger. At this rate, the only movies Disney—or anyone—will want to do
will be remakes (that’s why Disney is working on remaking Jungle Book and Cinderella).
My final take is: After an hour of watching, I felt sorry for anyone who hasn’t seen this movie and is thinking of going to see it.
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