Genie (2023)

Genie (2023)

 

2/10

Starring

Melissa McCarthy

Paapa Essiedu

Denée Benton

Marc Maron

 

Directed by Sam Boyd

 

If you’ve never heard of this movie, congratulations, you’ve dodged a bullet, and I wish I was you. If you came across this post before watching it, do yourself a favor and don’t bother, there are better things you can do with your free time.

The story begins with Bernie missing his daughter Eve’s birthday. Bernie decides to prioritize work, choosing to close a deal for his boss instead of attending the celebration. Naturally, his wife Julie is upset because Bernie has a habit of being a disappointment. She takes Eve to her parents’ house, leaving Bernie behind.

This setup is a tired cliché we’ve seen countless times: "Why can’t you be there for us? We’re going to my parents. Don’t come." Unfortunately, this familiar start is paired with questionable acting that left me wondering if this movie was worth my time. I only stuck around because I usually find Melissa McCarthy funny.

This movie, however, was far from her best. It wasn’t funny, and the writing was downright poor. Strangely, the movie is a remake written by the same person, but this version takes a bizarre direction. The jokes, scenes, and overall execution completely missed the mark.

The plot of Bernie finding a genie (played by McCarthy), but this genie doesn’t follow the usual conventional three-wish rule, would at first seem exciting. But the bad execution will make you wish you did not press play on this movie. I may have missed something, but it seems like there’s an infinite number of wishes. Yet, the things Bernie wishes for are so unimaginative that it makes you question his intelligence. The "all-around good guy" act he plays is unbearably annoying; it made me want to throw something at the screen.

McCarthy’s performance felt phoned in, as though she was only there for the paycheck. Her actions lacked conviction, and the movie as a whole made no sense. It was boring, devoid of any urgency, and filled with moments where Bernie seemed to forget the most important thing: reuniting with his family.

The illogical decisions Bernie made throughout the movie left me longing for the days before streaming services, when studios didn’t feel the need to churn out subpar movies to pad their libraries. Adding a big-name star like McCarthy might make people curious, but it doesn’t save this disaster.

If I had a genie, I’d wish for the time I wasted watching this movie back. Save yourself the trouble, it’s not worth your time.