The Union (2024)
2/10
Starring
Mark
Wahlberg
Halle
Berry
Directed
by Julian Farino
I have honestly had enough of
Hollywood writers trying to sell us these over-the-top, implausible stories.
Seriously, how am I supposed to believe that the world or in this case, The
Union and its affiliates is in such peril that they’d resort to recruiting a
random guy with zero qualifications? The idea that they could train a nobody
like Mike (Mark Wahlberg) in just a few weeks to become an agent is not only
ridiculous but also lazy writing.
When I watched The Union, it felt
less like a real movie and more like fan service for Mark Wahlberg and Halle
Berry. The plot is forgettable, and as much as I like these two stars, even
they couldn’t save this mess. From the moment Roxanne (Berry) shows up and
recruits Mike, her high school sweetheart, you can tell the movie is going to
be one of those spies flicks we’ve all seen too many times.
What really bugged me was how
little sense it all made. Out of the nearly 8 billion people in the world, why
Mike? The movie never gives us a good reason. It’s not like he has a hidden
talent or some amazing trait. No, it’s just that he happens to be next on The
Union’s list after they lose fewer than ten members on a mission. Ten. That’s
hardly a crisis, and yet, they act like they’re on the verge of collapse. How
can a multinational security covert organization, be in crisis from the loss of
a few men and the next person on the list to save the organization is Mike? I
know this is repetition, but you will need to see this movie to know how ridiculous
this is.
Mike’s transformation is another
stretch. A guy with no military or intelligence background is trained and
deployed in a matter of weeks to retrieve a list of global agents and their
agencies. It’s as if the writers didn’t even try to make it plausible. Watching
this play out made me roll my eyes so much, I could almost see the back of my
head. It’s frustrating because I love spy movies, but this one felt like a
cheap knock off of better films.
If the plot sounds familiar,
that’s because it is. The Union borrows heavily from so many other spy movies
but fails to bring anything new or interesting for us to see. It is predictable,
and I could not wait for the movie to end.
I wouldn’t recommend this movie to anyone unless you’re a die-hard fan of Mark Wahlberg or Halle Berry. Even then, you’d probably be better off rewatching their earlier, better films. The Union is the kind of movie you forget about the second the credits roll.
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