Five Deadly Venoms (1978)

Five Deadly Venoms (1978)

8/10

Starring

Chiang Sheng

Sun Chien

Philip Kwok

Lo Mang

Wei Pei

Lu Feng

Directed by Chang Cheh

If you haven’t been privileged to see this movie, I’m sorry—because you’ve definitely missed one of the best martial arts films out there.

Five Deadly Venoms is a martial arts film from the 70s with a great storyline and a bag full of suspense. The movie pulls you along as you try to uncover the identities of the five martial arts fighters. While some are easy to spot, the suspense of who the last one is will keep you guessing.

One thing that always makes me laugh about these old Kung Fu movies is how people die. They don’t just drop dead—they do a final move, like trying to get up before collapsing, as if they’ve been stung by a scorpion. And the blood? It’s so bright red it’s hard to even confuse it with real blood. But aside from that, Five Deadly Venoms is a movie done to perfection and is considered a cult classic in Hong Kong martial arts cinema.

The movie’s plot revolves around a group of five Kung Fu fighters, each taught a unique style by their master:

1. Centipede: Attacks like he has 100 arms.
2. Snake: Can fight with both hands while standing or lying on the floor.
3. Scorpion: His kicks are as deadly as a scorpion’s sting.
4. Gecko: Can walk on walls and fight while on them.
5. Toad: His skin is tough and nearly impossible to pierce.

The master realized the five were using their skills for evil and regretted teaching them. Before he died, he trained a young student in all five fighting styles and sent him on a mission: find the five and stop those using their skills for evil, while sparing those living a good life. However, the master warned the young apprentice that he couldn’t take on any of the five alone—he’d need to team up with one of the good fighters to succeed.

There’s more to the story, but I’ll let you discover that for yourself.

The movie’s display of martial arts is its strong point. It’s fascinating to see these unique styles in action and how each one has its own weakness.

What you will love about this movie is the fight choreography. I have to say, this movie stands above the rest in the way the fights are presented. Since this is not a comedy, the fights take you in and if you are not careful, you could be kicking along with the people in screen.

Amazing movie to see any time.

Fist of Fury (1972)

Fist of Fury (1972)

7/10

Starring

Bruce Lee

Directed by Lo Wei

Do you want to hear some girl-like screaming from a guy who makes nunchucks look like he’s playing with a yo-yo?
Don’t worry about an airtight screenplay because loopholes stink up almost every scene. But who cares about the stink? Who cares about the weird cinematography, the sloppy effects, or the not-so-great acting? It’s Bruce Lee, man. Just the fact that he’s in this movie makes all the flaws seem perfectly suited for it.

The king of nunchucks messed up all the bad guys and died for the cause—that’s what Fist of Fury is all about. Bruce Lee taking on the Japanese and leaving a trail of chaos.

Fist of Fury is one classic Kung Fu movie I really enjoyed seeing again, even though it doesn’t have the corrected flaws that existed in the Jet Li remake.

The movie is about a student, Chen (Bruce Lee), who doesn’t take his master’s death well. To make matters worse, a Japanese martial arts school tries to shut down their school and steps on Chen’s toes. Chen decides to take matters into his own hands, taking on the school and beating up all the students and their master.

This sparks a war between the two schools, with the Japanese having the upper hand since the law is on their side. Chen goes on a sort of killing spree as he discovers there’s more to his master’s death than he was told.

The acting and martial arts moves Bruce Lee shows in this movie aren’t what we see today, but they’re still worth watching. Then there’s the cinematic effect of zooming in on the actor’s eyes to emphasize the intensity of the scene—a technique that’s faded with time (not that I miss it, though).

This movie makes you want to see more Kung Fu films. So, my dear reader, are you in the mood for some old-school Kung Fu? Do you like Jackie Chan and Jet Li but are curious to see the best of the best at it?

The fight scenes are the best, the movie does a great job in the way it made the fight scenes be as captivating as it can be.

Then look no further than Bruce Lee’s old movies. The packaging, the screams, and the action are just what you need. And after seeing this movie, I suggest you check out Enter the Dragon and Five Deadly Venoms (1978).

Kramer vs Kramer (1979)

Kramer vs Kramer (1979)

8/10

 

Starring

Dustin Hoffman

Meryl Streep

Justin Henry

Jane Alexander

Directed by Robert Benton

Kramer vs. Kramer is rated as one of the best courtroom dramas out there, but in my opinion, the best part of the movie happens outside the courtroom. The bonding between father and son after the wife decides to leave is something we all should see and will come to appreciate.

The movie is a classic and went on to win five Academy Awards in 1979, including Best Picture, Best Director, Best Adapted Screenplay, Best Actor, and Best Supporting Actress.

One highlight of the movie is that it doesn’t favor one side over the other. From the get-go, we can see where both Ted and Joanna Kramer faltered in their marriage. Even in the courtroom, it’s clear that, although separated, they still care for each other.

This courtroom drama is based on an adapted screenplay (written and directed by Robert Benton) from a book of the same name by Avery Corman. The movie tackles the sad reality of divorce and child custody. While the woman walking out on her husband ultimately led to a better future for all three parties involved, I feel it could have been avoided if both parties (well, mostly the husband) had been patient enough to communicate.

As far as acting goes, this movie was exceptionally well done. The actors were so well-suited for their roles that I felt something that rarely happens when watching modern movies. That feeling is when you get sucked into a story, and for over an hour, you forget yourself and your surroundings, completely immersed in the world painted on the screen.

As mentioned earlier, the movie is about a couple, Mr. and Mrs. Kramer (played by Dustin Hoffman and Meryl Streep, respectively), who are divorced and fighting for custody of their son, Billy (Justin Henry).

The accolades Kramer vs. Kramer received are extensive. The movie was both a critical and commercial success (grossing over $106 million compared to its $8 million budget) and served as a launchpad for Meryl Streep’s career.

There’s no reason anyone who claims to be a movie lover should miss this film. The four leads were phenomenal, and Justin Henry (who played Billy) was only 7 years old at the time of the movie’s release. Despite it being his debut, he acted like someone who had been doing this for years.

Kramer vs. Kramer—a classic courtroom drama for all to see, I really enjoyed it.

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2 (2013)

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2 (2013)

3/10

Starring the voice of

Bill Hader

Anna Faris

James Caan

Andy Samberg

Neil Patrick Harris

Benjamin Bratt

Terry Crews

Directed by Cody Cameron and Kris Pearn

Here’s an hour and thirty minutes of my life that I will not get back. What a horrible movie, totally ruined the franchise.

This movie was not all-out fun like its predecessor. There were no surprises in the area of inventions like we saw in the first one. All we have is a colorful yet dull movie that just went on and on until it ended. This computer-animated sci-fi film is the 9th animation produced by Sony Pictures Animation.

One thing you might like about this sequel to Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs is that the movie actually picks up right where the first one left off.

In the prequel, Flint and his friends finally put the FLDSMDFR ("Flint Lockwood Diatonic Super Mutating Dynamic Food Replicator") out of commission after the machine went haywire, sending down large chunks of food nonstop. This chaos was caused by the greed of the town’s mayor, who saw the town becoming a tourist attraction. Flint and his friends—Sam, her cameraman Manny, Steve, and Brent—had to jet out to the FLDSMDFR in the sky to shut it down.

In this sequel, Flint’s idol, Chester V, is contracted to clean up the mess the FLDSMDFR made. Chester V then invites Flint to join him at his company, The Live Corp, a place where all the best inventors reside.

While there, Chester V asks Flint to help him find the FLDSMDFR so they can deactivate it for good. Flint and his crew from the previous movie head back to town, only to discover that the food created by the FLDSMDFR has now mutated and developed a life of its own.

Like its predecessor, the movie is loosely based on Judi and Ron Barrett’s book of the same name, and most of the previous cast—except Mr. T—reprise their roles.

By the end of the movie, I was left wondering why Sony decided to make this sequel in the first place. Not every “good” movie (good in the sense that it made money for the studio) deserves a sequel. It wasn’t as captivating as the first, and the thrill I felt experiencing the characters’ behaviors in the original was watered down by too much dialogue between Flint and Chester V.

I don’t see how an adult could enjoy this movie. It was just too darn colorful and full of moments that would only thrill kids.

Turbo (2013)

Turbo (2013)

5/10

Starring the voice of

Ryan Reynolds

Paul Giamatti

Michael Peña

Snoop Dogg

Maya Rudolph

Michelle Rodriguez

Samuel L. Jackson

Directed by David Soren

Turbo is a 3D computer-animated comedy sports film produced by DreamWorks Animation. It’s not great, but it’s not dull either. It’s definitely full of clichés from beginning to end. Yes, the snail was fast, it raced against cars, and it had to overcome a lot of obstacles to do so.

When the people who draft the rules for these competitions do so, do they leave loopholes for movie producers to exploit? Or are the movie producers just making up those loopholes when they don’t actually exist?

The movie is about a garden snail who dared to dream big. He was obsessed with car racing and spent his entire slow life wishing he could compete in the top races.

His dream comes true when a freak accident floods Nitro into his system, merging with his DNA and giving him the power of super-speed.

This power is witnessed by Tito, a "Dos Bros" taco truck driver, and together, they embark on what seems like an impossible journey: to compete in the world’s fastest race, the Indianapolis 500.

One thing’s for sure—like it or not, the movie spawned a series titled Turbo: F.A.S.T (Fast Action Stunt Team).

Back in May 2013, PikPok released Turbo Racing League, a free mobile game that let you race as a snail—yes, a snail. It was available on iOS, Android, and Windows Phone 8, and the goal was simple: race against the clock, collect tomatoes, and earn upgrades to make your snail faster (or at least as fast as a snail can get).

But the real excitement came with the competition sponsored by Verizon Wireless. They put up a jaw-dropping $1,000,000 in cash prizes, which was the biggest prize pool for a mobile game at the time. To compete, players had to hit daily goals or gather enough tomatoes to unlock access to the weekly contests.

The competition ran for eight weeks, from May 16 to July 7, 2013. Each week, the top 10 fastest racers could win up to $25,000, and the weekly winner scored an invite to the Grand Finale Race Event in Los Angeles on July 17. That’s where the ultimate champion was crowned, walking away with a cool $250,000.

The game was a huge success, hitting over 20 million downloads in its first ten weeks and becoming the most downloaded racing app during that time. Not bad for a game about speedy snails, right?

I’d say give this movie a try, and the mobile game is one you’ll love to play—so go ahead and download it.

Escape Plan (2013)

Escape Plan (2013)

6/10

Starring

Sylvester Stallone

Arnold Schwarzenegger

Directed by Mikael Håfström

Escape Plan is like Prison Break without the tattoos, making Sylvester Stallone a buffed-up version of Michael Scofield.

In the early stages of the movie, I thought it was going to be totally boring, but soon things got intense, and I found myself glued to the screen. I was curious to see the introduction of both characters, but it wasn’t as grand as I had hoped. I was also looking forward to seeing them go head-to-head, but that didn’t happen—instead, all I got were staged fights meant to grab attention.

Eventually, Escape Plan turned out to be surprisingly good (average, that is). After about 30 minutes in, you start to feel like you can predict where the movie is headed, but you’ll be surprised—like I was—that things don’t go exactly as you thought. The only predictable part was that both Stallone and Arnold were going to escape from prison. How they pulled it off, though? That wasn’t so obvious.

The movie did have a nice feel to it, even though there wasn’t much scenery to enjoy since most of the shots were done in a prison setting. The actors were well-suited for their roles, but the only one who didn’t impress was Jim Caviezel. The Person of Interest star seemed way out of his depth in the role of a prison warden, coming off as too fake to fit the part.

The movie follows Ray Breslin (Sylvester Stallone), who’s like a Houdini of prisons. He makes a living by breaking out of high-security facilities to expose their weak points.

He takes on a job that requires him to break out of a top-secret prison where America hides prisoners they don’t want found. It seemed like a straightforward task—get in, get out—but he’s betrayed by one of his team members. He gets in as planned, but getting out suddenly seems impossible.

In prison, he befriends another inmate (Arnold Schwarzenegger) and confides in him about who he is and his current predicament. Together, they decide to work on a plan to escape.

The first time we saw Arnold and Stallone together in this century was in The Expendables (2010). They teamed up again in The Expendables 2 (2012). After that, they went their separate ways with standalone movies: Bullet to the Head (2013) for Stallone and The Last Stand (2013) for Arnold. While Arnold’s The Last Stand was watchable and fun, Stallone’s Bullet to the Head was total crap.

Escape Plan isn’t a masterpiece, but it’s still a movie I’m sure you’d enjoy.

The Counselor (2013)

The Counselor (2013)

 

2/10

Starring

Michael Fassbender
Penélope Cruz
Cameron Diaz
Javier Bardem
Brad Pitt

Directed by Ridley Scott

The Counselor promises a whole lot when you start watching. This thriller, with its ensemble cast, aims to deliver a movie that will both thrill you and leave you filled with suspense.

On the other hand, what it actually does is make you feel like the entire 100-plus minutes you spent watching it were a total waste—and you’ll wish you could take it all back.

The Counselor is based on an original screenplay by novelist Cormac McCarthy. It’s Ridley Scott’s next directorial project after the successful Prometheus (2012) and is dedicated to Tony Scott (Ridley’s younger brother, who committed suicide).

Prometheus was thrilling and filled with suspense—something I bet Ridley Scott was trying to replicate here. But in the end, the only suspense you’re left with is, “What convinced you to watch this movie in the first place?”

The Counselor is about a lawyer (played by Michael Fassbender, who is referred to only as “the Counselor” throughout the movie) who decides to up his stakes in the money-making game by diving into drug trafficking.

He meets with Westray (Brad Pitt), a business associate, to kick off the drug operation. Westray warns him about the dangers of getting into the drug business, but the Counselor ignores the warnings, focusing solely on the 4000% profit he stands to make.

Everything seems to be going smoothly until Malkina (Cameron Diaz), his friend’s girlfriend, decides to get in on the deal—without the Counselor’s knowledge. She intercepts the cocaine shipment and steals it all for herself.

The other drug cartel involved thinks the Counselor double-crossed them, and now he’s left with a mountain of problems to deal with.

How it all plays out is something Ridley Scott wants you to watch and find out for yourself.

The movie does have some controversial scenes, especially the one where Cameron Diaz has sex with a car (no, that’s not a typo—she has sex with a Ferrari, not in a Ferrari). The movie has so many things that were wrong with it, and it is just hard to find a reason to like the movie.

The acting by the cast is well done, but the problem is the movie itself just doesn’t suit them at all.

In conclusion, I’d advise you to go online, find a spoiler for this movie, and read it instead—along with watching the trailers. There’s really no point in seeing this movie at all.