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Parker (2013)



Parker (2013)



3/10



Starring
Jason Statham
Jennifer Lopez


Directed by Taylor Hackford

If you have close to two hours to spare, I suggest reading a book (not the one this movie is based on) or taking a nap, because Taylor Hackford owes me my time and money back for making me think this was a movie worth watching. My advice to anyone considering this film is to Google the spoiler, watch an extended preview, and then move on with your life—there’s nothing to see here.

The movie drags. It’s sloppy, and it’s astonishing how pointless situations and actions can stretch out for such a long runtime. I think some directors and studios must have a bucket list item of making a movie with Jason Statham. That’s the only explanation for the string of subpar action anti-hero films he’s been starring in that aren’t worth your time. Surprisingly, the only redeeming factor in this film is Jennifer Lopez. Her performance, including her comedic touch, was the sole thing that made sense and brought some life to this mess.

Taylor Hackford (Ray (2004) and The Devil’s Advocate (1997)) isn’t necessarily a bad director, but in this case, the story and plot completely fail. The movie is a shockingly dull and nonsensical attempt at an action film. The plot revolves around Parker (Jason Statham)—yes, you probably guessed the protagonist’s name already. Parker is a professional thief with a moral code: he doesn’t steal from the poor or harm the innocent. He joins a five-man crew for a successful heist, but when the crew leader proposes a follow-up plan to earn even more money, Parker refuses. This decision leads to him being shot and left for dead at a lake. Miraculously, he survives and begins plotting his revenge.

During his quest to track down the men who betrayed him, Parker encounters Leslie Rogers (Jennifer Lopez), who somehow gets caught up in his revenge plan.

The movie is based on a book called Flashfire, and let me tell you, I have no intention of reading it anytime soon. As lackluster as the movie is, Parker makes you wish you could rewind time and unwatch it. By the end, I was actually annoyed that the hero survived.

My conclusion? There are far better ways to waste your time than watching this movie. Nothing about this movie makes you want to sit through it to the end. I feel the actors were way into themselves in the making of this movie.


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