The movie starts
off promising and ends up disappointing. It’s meant to be a cross between
action, horror, and comedy, but forget about the last two (horror and comedy).
The jokes just fly over your head, and the horror scenes will make you yawn. My
main problem with the movie is the cursing (which, mind you, was few), but
before any of the lead characters use the f-word, there’s this pause, and the
camera focuses on their face, giving the f-word a grand entrance, as if the
word is holy. My final take is that this movie is just a set-up for a sequel,
and it’s borderline crap.
The plot adds a
new spin to the fairy tale, with Hansel & Gretel (Jeremy Renner and Gemma
Arterton, respectively) as bounty hunters who track and kill witches. In a town
where children are being taken by witches, the duo is called to investigate.
They come across a plot by the witches involving the Blood Moon, and the
siblings face an evil that holds the secret to their past.
The movie is
written and directed by Tommy Wirkola, a Norwegian who makes a living making
action horror flicks. This crap-piece is his first big-budget film. He’s noted
to have said that he was surprised (and so am I) that the big Hollywood studios
went for the movie, calling his script a “rock n’ roll script.” The script is
rock ‘n’ roll alright—rolling down to the gutter. It’s a script that made me
want to puke, with bad continuity from one scene to the next. It’s just
topsy-turvy, with nothing going straight. You’re left wondering why some things
are happening. And forget about the twist—the movie is predictable.
I’ve seen better
movies in my life, and if this was a B-movie, it would have been better off. I
can’t even imagine the cost of the CGI from the huge $50 million budget. The
CGI and stunts are cool, but everything else will make you want to smash the
screen.
What I advise
any movie watcher to do is not bother seeing this movie. Try watching something
else. There are no surprises, no wow moments, no story depth—nothing. Just a
bunch of people running around, feeling cool, killing witches.
The sad thing is
that bad guys narrating their entire evil plot to the hero instead of just
killing them straight away is an outdated practice. So I was surprised to see
it here. Please don’t watch this.
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