Fantastic Four (2015)

Fantastic Four (2015)

3/10

Starring

Miles Teller

Michael B. Jordan

Kate Mara

Jamie Bell

Toby Kebbell

Directed by Josh Trank

Finally, I got to see this movie.

We all need to see this movie in the freest possible way there is. This movie is so weird (weird as in you’ll be amazed by what’s going on) that it shouldn’t pass your freebie radar. It’s not worth a dime of your money.

You have to be very alert to watch this movie because the lines will bore you, and the events are so well-spaced out that you can easily get lost.

The movie starts with young Reed Richards trying to build a teleportation machine in junior high. We get to see him and Ben Grimm bond over the experiment, which eventually works. Then the movie jumps to senior high, where the two meet Sue Storm, who happens to be like an adopted sister (or maybe real—I didn’t quite catch that part) of Johnny Storm.

Sue, Johnny, and their father, along with Victor Doom, have been working on a teleportation machine of their own. The only thing missing is some key technology to make it work perfectly—a technology Reed Richards happens to have.

Now, imagine this: I had to sit through a 90-minute movie (that felt way longer) and wait until 15 minutes before the end for anything action-related to actually happen.

Here’s what led to it: the group travels through the teleportation machine to another dimension (Sue stays behind on Earth to monitor the trip). Things go wrong, and—ta-da!—we get Mr. Fantastic, Invisible Woman, Human Torch, The Thing, and Doctor Doom.

It felt like never-ending talking, and the whole story shift will make you wonder if you were actually watching Fantastic Four.

I think this was a quick reboot, and Fantastic Four doesn’t deserve to be treated like this. Fox, not wanting to lose the rights to this franchise, has actually lost tens of millions to keep it for a few more years. It reminds me of Punisher and Ghost Rider. The first parts of those movies were good, but when they were nearing the date of return to Marvel, Lionsgate decided to try and keep the franchises. They ended up throwing money away.

If you watch this movie, you’ll love the first two Fantastic Four movies Fox did back in 2005 and 2007. In fact, those movies are masterpieces compared to this one.

Well, this box office bomb and universally panned movie is one to avoid. The movie is like a total joke, and the biggest joke is that Fox had (and still could have) a sequel in mind. For any studio to put money into this movie is like setting millions of dollars on fire. Josh Trank (the director) did everything he could to distance himself from this movie—that’s how crappy it is.

Spielberg is counting down the time when all this superhero craze in movies and series will come to a close—a countdown many don’t share… but we all know it’s coming.