Snatched (2017)

Snatched (2017)

2/10

Starring

Amy Schumer

Goldie Hawn

Directed by Jonathan Levine

Snatched is crap. The movie rests on the borderline between boring and out of place. Nothing in the entire eighty minutes I watched is worth noting, and for a film made fifteen years after Goldie Hawn’s last, I wish she had just stayed away from this one.

I like Goldie from The First Wives Club (1996) and The Out-of-Towners (1999). Even though she was much younger in those movies compared to her seventy-one-year-old self here, she gave performances worth remembering. The problem with Snatched isn’t her delivery—it’s the script, which is just crap.

I did enjoy seeing Goldie’s glow and the smile I’ve always cherished. I guess there are some things age can’t take away, and I’m glad she was recognized this year with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. I just wish the movie that followed this prestigious award had been far better, funnier, and worth watching a second time.

Snatched is forgettable. Every minute of the movie is too far-fetched to be taken seriously and too dumb or stupid to be worth remembering. The worst part for me was when the characters’ names were mentioned, and I found myself saying, “Oh, yeah, that’s her name.”

Not even the presence of Wanda Sykes or a glimpse of Amy Schumer’s nipples could save this movie. The directing by Jonathan Levine, who has done better work in 50/50 (2011) and Warm Bodies (2013), fell flat here. This was supposed to be an action-comedy and a kind of female buddy movie, but it picked up slowly, and even when the events meant to surprise you or make you sit up started happening, you’ll probably just stay flat.

The script was lame, and the character Amy Schumer played reminded me of Sandra Bullock’s obscene, silly, and self-deprecating character in Miss Congeniality 2 (2005) after her boyfriend broke up with her. I love Sandra Bullock and even liked Miss Congeniality 2 (2005), though it’s nothing compared to the first Miss Congeniality (2000). In the case of Snatched, I don’t see it making back its money at the box office like both Miss Congeniality movies did.

The movie is about a mother and daughter who go to Ecuador for a holiday. While there, Emily (Amy Schumer) meets a man who invites her and her mother, Linda (Goldie Hawn), on a drive to explore the town. What was supposed to be a fun outing turns into a setup for kidnapping. Now, both women must find a way to escape their kidnappers and make it to the embassy.

Don’t waste your time.