The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996)

The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996)

5/10

Starring

Geena Davis

Samuel L. Jackson

Directed by Renny Harlin

The Long Kiss Goodnight is a total waste of energy, enthusiasm, and script. The movie lacks the punch and plot to make it matter. When I saw it at a younger age, I wasn’t bothered by things like plot, subplots, or screenplay. Back then, direction and performance didn’t matter—all that counted was the number of explosions and gunshots the movie had to offer. I’m glad those days are behind me. This movie for me as a child was like my first introduction into espionage.

When you consider the amount of talent and money that went into making this movie, you’ll likely agree it was a colossal waste. Geena Davis wasn’t at her best here, and her “badass spy lady” look was just an appalling sight.

The Long Kiss Goodnight is about a woman who wakes up pregnant with no memory of who she is, how she got there, or how she became pregnant. She starts a new life as a teacher, enters a relationship, and raises her daughter in a stable home. Over the years, she hires multiple private investigators to help uncover her past, but as time passes, she loses interest—until one PI stumbles upon something significant.

This discovery leads them down a trail that reveals she was once a spy and assassin for the U.S. government. The reason she lost her memory and how she became pregnant is what the entire movie revolves around—and if you haven’t seen this movie before (especially as a younger viewer), it’s a plot and twist you’ll have to endure.

The whole amnesia angle, spliced with her rediscovery of her past, has a drawback. Unlike movies or books like The Bourne Identity, where the character pieces together their life bit by bit to make sense of their present, this movie hits you with everything at once. The constant switching between her roles as a mom and a badass spy is more irritating than entertaining. It feels unreal and hard to digest. It would’ve been better if her skills came back to her naturally, like habits, rather than feeling like she was having a mental breakdown every time.

The Long Kiss Goodnight was neither a commercial success at the box office nor a critical darling. However, over time, the movie has gained a lot of lip service, especially in the 1990s. There were talks of a possible sequel, but it never got off the ground.