Die Hart: The Movie (2023)

 Die Hart: The Movie (2023)

 

 3/10

 

Starring

Kevin Hart

John Travolta

 

Directed by Eric Appel

 

The movie is actually an edited version of the series Die Hart from 2020. They took the series and made it into a movie. If you haven’t seen or heard of that series, consider yourself lucky. I had heard about it but never bothered to watch it. However, while watching the movie, some parts felt oddly familiar, and then I remembered seeing them in a trailer. A quick search confirmed that this movie is essentially the first season of Die Hart repackaged.

The plot doesn’t make enough sense to justify a rewatch, and the characters are so one-dimensional that watching them interact on screen becomes frustrating.

For example, Kevin Hart (playing a fictional version of himself, also called Kevin Hart) is portrayed as a joke throughout the movie. At no point did the writers think to let the character mature. He never delivers a serious comment or takes meaningful action when the moment calls for it. Instead, he defaults to being the same silly caricature.

Here’s a specific scene to highlight the problem: Kevin’s life is in danger, and his partner, Jordan, has a man in a chokehold. All Kevin has to do is hurt the man to escape the situation. Instead, he starts flexing and rambling, and he never even lands a punch. Scenes like this pile on top of each other, making the movie feel more like a chore than a fun watch.

The main story revolves around Kevin, who has just finished his sixth movie with Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. Tired of always being the supporting comic relief, he decides to transition to becoming a lead actor—and not just any lead actor, but an action star.

When Kevin gets the chance to make this leap, he takes it. The problem? He doesn’t have the charisma of an action star. To fix this, the filmmaker enrolls Kevin in the Ron Wilcox Action Star School.

Most of the movie takes place at this bootcamp, where Kevin is assigned a room and begins training to become an action hero. Joining him is Jordan, another student enrolled in the school for the same purpose.

The movie largely follows Kevin as he navigates the school’s curriculum in his usual goofy, immature way.

Save your time and go to Wikipedia and read the plot, you will have more fun doing that and spend less time trying to understand, than going to see this movie.

Plane (2023)

Plane (2023)

 

7/10

 

Starring

Gerard Butler

Mike Colter

Yoson An

Tony Goldwyn

 

Directed by Jean-Francois Richet

 

Plane is a nice film, and I enjoyed it. I also liked the direction the movie took, shifting from a one-man Terminator show to having the crew saved by mercenaries. The movie didn’t go all out with impossible scenario after impossible scenario and instead made the mercenaries show up just in time to take more control of the situation and save the man of the moment, Captain Brodie (Gerard Butler).

Plane is an action thriller that, for me, doesn’t waste time giving too much unnecessary depth to the characters. It gives a brief intro and well-laid-out goals to cement the characters, then doesn’t drag the ending.

The movie is direct and easy to follow. It maintains a tempo that I enjoyed and shows more control over the unfolding events than letting the situations fully dictate the movie. Surviving a plane crash landing is one thing, but surviving a crash landing on an island run by militants is another.

The plane crash-lands in Jolo, and the militants immediately get to work rounding up the passengers to ransom them. Before this, we’re introduced to Louis, a former French Foreign Legion soldier who’s being extradited to Canada. Since no one knows why he’s onboard or why he’s handcuffed, they keep their distance. Louis acts like he’s not ready to work with others, but the captain, in his effort to find help and safeguard his crew and passengers, decides to bring him along.

Louis proves to be an asset in the mission to find help. When they manage to get a message out about their location, the airline contacts mercenaries to help, since the Philippines military isn’t willing to get involved (how possible this is, is another different story). When the two return to their camp (set up beside the plane), they find that the militants have taken their entire party hostage.

With little hesitation, Brodie decides to rescue his crew and passengers, with Louis along for muscle support. From here, the movie takes a more sensible direction, instead of diving headfirst into the unrealistic idea of two men taking on a group of militants. It’s been a while since I’ve seen Mike Colter do something, so that was a welcome sight. It’s odd that they’re planning a sequel, though. I feel like this movie is fine as it is, and if the makers want to make another similar movie, a standalone would be best.

Shotgun Wedding (2022)

Shotgun Wedding (2022)

 

5/10

Starring

Jennifer Lopez

Josh Duhamel

Jennifer Coolidge

 

Directed by Jason Moore

 

I keep trying my best to maintain some suspense by avoiding previews or reading about a movie before seeing it. Because if I did, I may never have watched this movie.

This movie is one of those romcoms that people craving such a genre will enjoy. Also, if you're a JLo fan, here's a movie for you. But if you're like me, wanting to watch something new and exciting, then this movie is an easy pass. Unlike other cringy content on streaming platforms, this one had its moments. I didn’t mind some of the comedy, but the action was just too much to make sense. At some point, the whole thing reached a stage of boredom. I felt the movie was overreaching, trying hard to be something it’s not.

The movie is not what you'd expect for a destination wedding, especially when both the bride and groom have doubts and personal reasons for wanting the wedding to fail or succeed.

Among the list of guests are some known actors and some you wouldn’t mind never knowing their names. The couple, Darcy and Tom (Lopez and Duhamel), invited their family and close friends to their wedding. Everything looked off from the start, and it took a more awkward turn when Darcy’s ex showed up, invited by her father. That stirred things up and finally toppled an already shaky relationship.

The next day, when the wedding was supposed to take place, Darcy and Tom were fighting elsewhere, planning to call their wedding off as they were finally being honest with one another. Meanwhile, the waiting guests got a surprise when the entire procession was held up by pirates. The pirates wanted Darcy’s father to give them $45 million, or they’d hurt everyone.

The couple, still in their own world and fighting, eventually realized they weren’t safe. Tom calmed Darcy down, and from there, the movie took a turn. Together, the couple transformed into a clumsy version of John McClane and went after the people who crashed their wedding.

It’s one of those movies where the couple bonds while fighting bad guys, and every ounce of possible luck is on their side.

For me, this movie is just one of those things out there to fill up the Amazon Prime catalogue, so it won’t just be an empty folder. It stands as one of those movies that, if you miss it, you haven’t missed much. It’s not memorable, and I can’t imagine myself sitting through it again.