Polite Society (2023)

Polite Society (2023)

 

6/10

Starring

Priya Kansara

Ritu Arya

 

Directed by Nida Manziir

 

The kind of people who will love this movie are those, like me, who enjoyed watching Scott Pilgrim vs The World. It has the same  Scott Pilgrim vibe, and I loved how it never takes itself too seriously. The movie thrives on blending Bollywood themes with British humor, sparking curiosity. That curiosity only grows when you discover the societal backdrop of these two misfit sisters. Their community expects them to conform and abandon their passions, but these girls are determined to chase their dreams, even if it means being alienated.

This action-comedy, written and directed by Manziir in her feature film debut, brings a fresh energy to the screen.

We’ve all seen movies where someone tries to break up a wedding because they think the bride or groom is making a mistake. This movie does something similar but adds a  Scott Pilgrim-style martial arts twist to the mix.

The story introduces us to two sisters, Ria and Lena, who are chasing their dreams. Ria wants to become a stuntwoman, while Lena dreams of being an artist. Lena attends art school but later drops out, spending her days at home helping Ria create videos for her stuntwoman ambitions. Ria idolizes a professional stuntwoman, Eunice Huthart, and dreams of working with her someday.

Their parents, however, have other plans. They want the girls to follow “respectable” careers, like becoming receptionists or doctors. In an attempt to push Lena down this path, they arrange a meeting with a young doctor. Things escalate quickly when the doctor proposes, and an arranged marriage is set in motion.

Ria is furious, seeing this as Lena giving up on her dreams. But, surprisingly, Lena is excited about the prospect of getting married.

At this point, you might expect the movie to follow a predictable My Best Friend’s Wedding formula. Instead, it dives headfirst into a bizarre world of clones and experiments to create the "ideal human specimen." Yes, it’s as wild as it sounds.

This film is crazy and so much fun to watch. If you’re into the kind of offbeat energy  Scott Pilgrim offers, you’ll probably enjoy this too.

One of the things I appreciated was how the movie didn’t waste time on the tired trope of smearing the fiancé-to-be in a drawn-out campaign. And when Ria’s friends backed out of her over-the-top plan, it was unexpected but refreshing—a change from what I assumed would be a major subplot.

The martial arts effects are another highlight—completely over-the-top and extreme for no reason, but that’s part of what makes it so enjoyable.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 (2023)

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 (2023)

6/10

 

Starring

Chris Pratt

Zoe Saldaña

Dave Bautista

Karen Gillan

Pom Klementieff

Vin Diesel

Bradley Cooper

 

Directed by James Gunn

 

There’s a place for movies like this. It’s not in the league of Captain Americas or Thors films, but rather a fun family movie about a group of misfits trying to make their way in the world. Personally, I prefer the movies featuring this crew over what we get with the Ant-Man movies.

This is the final Guardians of the Galaxy movie, and they did a great job of tying up the characters’ stories. While the plot may not be one of the finest in the MCU, it’s solid enough and feels more like the kind of story you’d expect from a TV series than a blockbuster movie.

As the thirty-second film in the MCU, this marks the last adventure for the Guardians crew as we know them. The future of the franchise remains uncertain, though there’s speculation that more stories from this universe could be made down the line.

One significant aspect of this film is how it redefines Rocket’s backstory, making everything we saw in the Guardians of the Galaxy animation no longer canon. The movie follows the trend of recent MCU films (Black Panther: Wakanda Forever and Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania) by not quite reaching the heights of earlier installments.

The plot centers on a new villain, the High Evolutionary, who is obsessed with Rocket. As Rocket’s creator, he has spent years crafting intelligent beings and civilizations, none of which have lived up to Rocket’s level of intellect. What’s worse, Rocket has proven himself to be even smarter than the High Evolutionary, which fuels the villain’s desire to capture him. The High Evolutionary plans to study Rocket’s brain by removing it, aiming to uncover the secret of his intelligence—and, in doing so, end Rocket’s life.

To achieve this, the High Evolutionary uses one of his creations to hunt Rocket. Enter Adam Warlock, who attacks the Guardians’ new home in an attempt to capture Rocket. However, during the fight, Adam Warlock severely injures Rocket with a life-threatening blast before retreating after getting injured himself. The Guardians realize they can’t heal Rocket with their med packs because of a kill switch embedded in his design.

Nebula manages to extract critical information from Rocket’s robotic implants, revealing where he came from and pointing the team to the High Evolutionary. The crew sets off on a mission to confront him and retrieve the code needed to save Rocket’s life.

As mentioned earlier, this film provides a fitting conclusion for the Guardians and is an enjoyable watch overall.

The Portable Door (2023)

The Portable Door (2023)

 

3/10

 

Starring

Patrick Gibson

Sophie Wilde

Sam Neill

Christoph Waltz

 

Directed by Jeffrey Walker

 

You can tell when something isn’t well adapted. I haven’t read the book this movie is based on (The Portable Door from the J.W. Wells & Co. series), but the way the movie just glosses over so much makes it clear that a lot is missing. Maybe the issue lies with the book itself—I wouldn’t know because this movie didn’t make me want to pick it up.

The movie failed on multiple levels to connect the dots. From odd narration choices to poorly explained scenes, this lack of cohesion made the film boring. The magic system and the world it operates in are barely explained, leaving the audience to guess why things happen or piece things together themselves. In the end, the movie didn’t bother to address critical details, like the role of the goblins, the differences in the characters’ powers, or why some people have these powers while others don’t. Instead, it glosses over these elements, leaving us in the dark. It felt like the filmmakers were banking on sparking interest in a sequel, but all I could think was how I could’ve spent my time doing something better than watching this.

The story revolves around Paul Carpenter, a man struggling to keep his life together. He shows up for an interview and, while waiting, is distracted by a man claiming to be his old teacher. After a bizarre series of events involving a dog and a chase, Paul unexpectedly ends up at the J.W. Wells Company, sitting for an interview he didn’t even know he’d been entered for.

Paul gets the job and quickly learns that the company operates behind the scenes of the human world. However, we don’t get a clear picture of how this works—just a vague example of them orchestrating two people meeting one another.

Paul is partnered with Sophie, a seer who can read people’s minds. We later learn that Paul is a diviner, someone who can locate things or find a way out of situations. The two are eventually separated, with Sophie assigned other tasks while Paul is given a secret mission to find a Portable Door.

We watch Sophie undergo a significant personality change while Paul gradually learns how to use his powers. As the story progresses, a deeper secret about J.W. Wells & Co. is revealed, exposing that things aren’t as smooth or straightforward as they seem.

Take your time to search for something else to watch.

Simulant (2023)

Simulant (2023)

 

3/10

Starring

Robbie Amell

Jordana Brewster

Simu Liu

Sam Worthington

 

Directed by April Mullen

 

Have you seen any movie about the future of A.I.? Then you’ve already seen this one. This movie doesn’t offer anything new. It borrows heavily from Blade Runner, Ex Machina, I Robot and Her, only to dull everything down with uninspired execution.

The movie doesn’t even try to entertain. It’s boring, with no sense of urgency, and doesn’t make much effort to tie the story together. The running around and investigations feel pointless, and while it’s clear there’s a rebellion going on, that’s about it. There’s no well-thought-out cognitive threat or intent to drive the plot forward.

A lot of what happens has no real purpose, and I spent the entire time pinpointing which parts were copied from other, better movies. While the actors seem to take the movie seriously, the writers clearly didn’t care about how blatantly derivative it was. On top of that, the director seems determined to force connections between the characters, no matter how flimsy those connections might be.

The story is set in a future where humanoid simulators roam freely. As expected, these simulators have rules they must follow, the primary one being that they must obey humans and cannot harm them. A task force is in place to capture rogue humanoids who live independently without a human in control.

The plot kicks off when Kessler decommissions a rogue humanoid and notices that it didn’t follow orders—it even went as far as hurting him, breaking the rules entirely. He eventually captures her using an EMP blast, which leads to an investigation into how she was able to function independently and display emotions.

Meanwhile, Faye has replaced her late husband with a humanoid but struggles with its presence in her home. She regrets getting the humanoid and finds herself stuck, unsure of what to do next.

The investigation into the rebel humanoid eventually leads the task force to Casey, whom they suspect is the mastermind behind the rogue humanoids.

As I mentioned earlier, this movie is no good. It’s one of those films that will likely fly under the radar because no one will be talking about it. The fact that it’s getting a theatrical release is surprising—clearly, they’re trying to recover the money wasted on it.

If you value your sanity and don’t want to go rogue yourself, skip this one. Watch the classics I mentioned earlier instead, they got the idea right and this movie did not even bother to try.