Mafia Mamma (2023)

Mafia Mamma (2023)

 

2/10

 

Starring

Toni Collette

Monica Bellucci

 

Directed by Catherine Hardwicke

 

There are good movies, and then there are movies that should never even be seen. This movie is one of those that makes you ask, “Who wrote this mishap?” It’s unfunny, the story is cringy and stereotypical, and it’s so predictable that you’ll find yourself wondering, “Who acts like this in these situations?”

Nothing about this movie feels real, and the lead character is written so dumbly that it’s hard to even make it through the first thirty minutes. I know there are women who endure a lot and keep ticking, but this was too much. Not only is she a pushover, but she’s also made to feel grateful while everyone around her treats her like she’s worthless. It’s especially odd to see this so blatantly stamped into a movie directed by another woman.

The supporting cast doesn’t fare any better. Their characters are either exaggerated to the point of absurdity, underdeveloped, or just vague remnants of ideas for characters.

It’s hard for me to find anything good about this movie. There’s barely anything to make the time I invested in watching it worthwhile.

The plot follows Kristin, who finds out her grandfather has passed away. She’s told she must travel to Italy to sort out his affairs. Of course, Kristin, being the pushover she is at home and work, doesn’t want to go. But as movies go, circumstances conveniently push her to take the trip. She comes home from work one day to find her husband sleeping with another woman, and her job treats her with no respect, barely listening to her. The news of her grandfather’s death comes at just the right time. Plus, Kristin has always dreamed of going to Italy.

She hops on the next plane and, predictably, bumps into a man with whom she instantly sparks a connection (out of nowhere, I might add). Once she arrives, she’s taken to the funeral, which unexpectedly turns into a shootout. It’s then revealed that her grandfather was a mafia boss, and he’s passed the reins of the family business to her. The rest of the movie follows Kristin bumbling her way through running the mafia family and dealing with their enemies.

I can safely say that if you’ve never heard or seen this movie, you’ve been spared the agony of wasting your time and money on this hour-plus mistake, that even the A-list cast could not save.