A Minecraft Movie (2025)

A Minecraft Movie (2025)

2/10

Starring

Jack Black

Jason Momoa

Danielle Brooks

Emma Myers

Sebastian Hansen

 

Directed by Jared Hess

 

I would like to get out of the way and say, the CGI in this movie is actually very good and you will like the effects used. Also, the voice acting in this movie was just masterful, the voice casting director did a good job here, but for me, that was just about it. I did not like the dialogue, and the movie itself felt like a wounded horse trying to take one step and just wobbles before crashing.

Everything just does not play out the way I would have expected it to, I was bored to the bone watching this movie. I saw the Rotten Tomatoes rating of 47%, and the audience gave it 86%, and I felt the reviewers didn’t know what they were saying. But after seeing the movie myself, I have to agree with them on this one, this is a horrible movie.

When a movie has flat dialogues, a quest that starts with one of the oddest things, and a young boy who never seems to get the idea of letting go of things, but instead lets those things drag him into another world or knock him off his flight path, you start to wonder: was this movie written in such a way that the writers had an idea of how they wanted things to end and just wrote around it, making everything convenient without reason?

If you think too much, this movie falls apart and if you refuse to think at all, you will fall asleep. That’s how bad and boring this movie is. The actors, to me, did not fit their roles — except for Jack Black, who has carved the looney character persona to a fit. Everyone else tried to make it work, which you can give them their due, except Sebastian Hansen, who plays Henry – My God, what kind of performance was that?

So what was this movie about?

Washed-up doorknob salesman Steve (Jack Black) chases a childhood dream by sneaking into a mine, where he stumbles on the Orb of Dominance and the Earth Cube. When he combines them, a portal opens, and he finds himself in the Overworld, a place where everything’s made of cube-shaped blocks you can mess with to create new things. Steve creates his own paradise, and he’s happy, but then he finds another portal, which leads to the Nether — a fiery nightmare ruled by Malgosha, a gold-obsessed piglin queen who hates creativity. She wants Steve's Orb to dominate the Overworld, so Steve sends his dog Dennis to hide the Orb and Cube under his bed back in the real world.

Meanwhile, in the real world, we meet Garrison (Jason Momoa), a former ‘80s video game champ now running a dusty game store, and Henry, a kid who just moved to town with his sister. Henry’s goofing around with Garrison at the store when he spots the Orb and Cube, which Garrison got when he bought Steve’s possessions at a storage auction. Henry puts the Orb and Cube together, and it leads him to the same mine Steve was in when he got into the Overworld. So, because he reused to let go of the thing pulling him, he gets sucked into the Overworld, along with Garrison, his sister, and a real estate agent who trailed them to the mine. Now they’re all stuck in this blocky world, scrambling to find a way back home.

This movie is already a success at the box office, so I would not be surprised if there’s another part in the works. But one thing I am surprised by is that someone likes this movie. I would stay far from it if I were you — it is too childish and silly to actually be worth your time.