Ted 2 (2015)

Ted 2 (2015)

3/10

Starring

Mark Wahlberg

Seth MacFarlane

Amanda Seyfried

Directed by Seth MacFarlane

Ted 2 is not a movie worth watching. It shows that the writers had no idea what else to do with a talking teddy bear. I didn’t like the first movie and gave it a 5/10 rating. I didn’t expect the sequel to be better than the first, but I didn’t expect it to suck this much. You won’t believe how much of this movie you can literally cut out because those scenes added nothing to the story and couldn’t even pass as comedy.

The movie had enough cameos, but even they couldn’t save it.

The plot is so lacking in insight that it’s despicable. Ted decides to get married—a teddy bear with no male genitalia tying the knot with his girlfriend. This takes me back to the first movie, where you see him with women (sex implied), and even then, I was wondering what weird sense of humor Seth and his co-writers have.

John Bennett (Mark Wahlberg) is his best man, of course, but he’s going through a rough patch as his marriage is over.

Ted and his wife decide to adopt a child to strengthen their marital bond. When it comes to the state’s attention that Ted can’t adopt, hold a job, or even be married because he’s considered property and not a human, John convinces Ted to sue the state. However, they’re up against some big guns who want to claim Ted as their property and rip him apart to see what makes him tick.

The reason we have to endure this crap is that in 2012, Seth MacFarlane (Family Guy) wrote a story about a boy who wished for his teddy bear to come to life. The wish came true, but the bear turned out to be foul-mouthed and loved getting high. Seth made a movie about a 35-year-old man and his bromance with a 27-year-old teddy bear named Ted.

Ted (2012) was Seth’s full-length directorial debut, costing $85 million to make and earning over $540 million at the box office. You can guess the rest of the story—a sequel was already in the works, with Seth returning to direct. What you just read above is the crappy plot for Ted 2.

I guess there is a market for people loving adults behaving like children, with a stuffed animal being foul-mouthed, who am I to stop people from loving what they love, for me this movie is something to avoid.