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Mannequin (1987)

Mannequin (1987)


3/10




Starring

Andrew McCarthy

Kim Cattrall

Estelle Getty

G. W. Bailey

 

 

Directed by Michael Gottlieb


This movie is so bad that you somehow get an odd urge to see how it ends. Sadly, when you do, you’re reminded that this is one of the worst comedies you’ve ever watched.

I wonder how the writer thought this was a good idea. He must have believed he had a classic on his hands because he went ahead to direct this sleep-inducing film as well.

The movie starts with a massive plot hole and quickly delves into the absurd, making itself quite comfortable there. Don’t try to make sense of the stupidity—if you’re going to watch it, just embrace the nonsense.

Mannequin begins in Ancient Egypt, where Princess Emmy refuses to settle down and prays to the gods to save her from an arranged marriage. The next thing we see is what appears to be divine intervention: an earthquake, and then the princess vanishes. Fast-forward to 1987, where we meet Jonathan, a young man who dreams of being a sculptor but can’t hold down a job. He loses his position at a mannequin factory because he spends too much time “being artistic” with a female mannequin. From there, we watch him cycle through numerous jobs, only to be fired each time for focusing too much on artistry instead of the task at hand.

One particularly bad day, Jonathan passes by a department store and sees the last mannequin he made—the one he called his greatest masterpiece—displayed in the window. The next day, he saves the store’s owner and is offered a job there.



That night, while working with a co-worker to design a shop window, the mannequin he once adored comes to life as Emmy. She reveals that she’s existed for centuries, appearing to various great artists as a muse, and only Jonathan can see her. To everyone’s surprise, the window Jonathan designs with Emmy’s help becomes wildly popular, drawing crowds to the store and earning Jonathan a reputation as a talented window dresser. Every display they create together becomes a hit.

Of course, Emmy—who has supposedly been alive for thousands of years as a muse—suddenly finds her perfect match in Jonathan, and the two fall for each other.

The main conflicts in the movie involve Jonathan’s ex-girlfriend, who works for a rival department store, and a spy within Jonathan’s store who’s trying to sabotage its success. Jonathan’s creative displays are pulling customers away from the rival store, threatening their business.

When it comes to acting, only Kim Cattrall (Emmy) seems to be fully embracing the ridiculousness of it all. As for special effects, the movie doesn’t have much to offer. The one standout element for me is the music, particularly Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now by Starship—that song is iconic.

Despite how silly this movie is, it ended up being a massive commercial success, which led to the studio greenlighting a sequel. Unsurprisingly, the sequel was a dud; nobody was willing to pay to see another Mannequin-like tale.

Honestly, watching this movie is not a good idea.

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