Cinderella (2021)

Cinderella (2021)

 

2/10

Starring

Camila Cabello

Idina Menzel

Minnie Driver

Nicholas Galitzine

Billy Porter

Pierce Brosnan

Directed by Kay Cannon

This Amazon Prime musical comedy starred Camila Cabello as Cinderella. We kick of with a very nice musical number of Rhythm Nation (Janet Jackson) and You Gotta Be (Des'ree), merged together ever so nicely. As you will expect Cabello did some solid singing, for which I have no reason to complain. After that, everything that follows is bulls#@t.

(This review contains spoilers, which is odd to say because if you do not know the Cinderella story by now, you must have had a weird childhood)

It takes a lot of energy to go through this movie without pulling your own hairs out. The writers’ decision to make a woke girl power/women liberation movie and base it on a Cinderella plot goes over my head. Who signed off on this trash?

The movie’s women message totally steamrolls everything else. This is supposed to be a modernized Cinderella story, but what we get instead is a washed off girl power script with no spice.

I never recalled the Cinderella story having a space open for Cinderella trying to kick off her own business. Well in this plot After the regular intro of Cinderella, the wicked stepmother, step sisters and the prince we discover that Cinderella is a dress maker with a desire to start her own business. It just so happens in the kingdom she lives women are not allowed to own businesses. At this point I should have stopped watching. But something stupid in me soldiered on. Then the regular Cinderella things happen, with some changes here and there to make the movie a lot different, but not different enough that you will not forget this is a Cinderella story. The time for the ball came and who do we have, a fairy godmother that is of a male gender, correction a man wanting to be addressed as a woman. We skip through that and we get closer to the main magic, the lost shoe. At this point I notice that the movie is filled with more cameos of British comedians that I have come to love when I watched British panel shows like, Taskmaster, 8 out of 10 Cats, Would I Lie to You, QI and Mock the Week.

Even all these cameos meant nothing to lift the mood of the trash I was being fed. Fairy godmother does her magic and Cinderella had a dress for the ball with a magical carriage and everything almost similar to the Disney animated version. She gets to the ball, she and the prince falls in love and when it was midnight she had to run off and leave him behind with one shoe, because at midnight all the magic ends. The prince as you can guess is heartbroken and needs to find his love. Now here is where the writers messed up again.

The old tale had its plot holes, but this one decided to make the holes so big it could suck in the whole earth. The Prince had met seen Cinderella twice before their ball meeting. Even the king, in the end recognized her as haven seen her before. But the Prince seems to be so dunce that he would marry anyone whose leg fit the shoe, when he already knew who it was that he is looking for. At this point I was like can we stop the whole shoe leg hunt and just hunt for the girl. But nope, the writers wanted to stick to this part of the story. Now the stupid thing about this is that, in the story they are modifying from, the prince never met Cinderella. Knowing that, shoe hunt (which you would want to believe is a magical shoe and would only fit Cinderella) kinda added up, with all things considering. Here it made no sense at all.

Then the end has Cinderella and the Prince marry and live happily ever after. The king can now rest knowing that the crown can be passed to the prince with a worthy bride at his side. Sike!!! that did not happen. Even that normal ending they messed it up. I was so shocked that it was possible to mess up, and they live happily ever after.

Cinderella and the Prince decided not to marry at once that they wanted to spend their time getting to know each other first. What the hell?

Prince Harry and Megan Markle’s life was also introduced into this mess of movie. The couple who have decided to date, also relinquish their title and the crown passed on to the Prince’s sister.

Watch at your own risk.