Army of Thieves (2021)

 Army of Thieves (2021)

 

5/10

 

Starring           

Matthias Schweighöfer

Nathalie Emmanuel

Ruby O. Fee

Stuart Martin

Guz Khan

Jonathan Cohen

 

Directed by Matthias Schweighöfer

 

I love comedy heist movies, and I was interested in seeing this one, but for a comedy heist film, I only laughed once—when Sebastian tried to do something “manly” and punch Brad in the face. Other than that, the comedy in this movie is like looking for a needle in a haystack. By the end, the movie felt like an anticlimax. It serves as a prequel to Zack Snyder’s Army of the Dead.

I didn’t bother watching Army of the Dead, the first movie in Zack Snyder’s franchise, mainly because anything with zombies in it automatically puts me off. I almost skipped this one too, until I heard it focused more on the heists this crew would be pulling off.

In the end, I feel like if you never watch this movie, you’re not missing much. It only had one real high point—right after the second heist—but then everything went downhill.

I do think Snyder is a great writer, but this movie has so much fluff. At least half of it could be cut out, and the remaining hour would still make perfect sense. The movie opens with an over-thirty-minute introduction to every character and their backstories. It was so drawn out that I almost turned it off to do something more productive.

Then the first heist happens, and it’s ridiculously easy—like a walk in the park. It made me curious to see how the second heist, which Gwen promised would be much harder, would play out.

The movie introduces us to Sebastian, who has a passion for safes and safe-cracking. He’s recruited by Gwen to join her gang of international thieves, who are wanted everywhere. The crew includes:

• Sebastian, the safe cracker
• Korina, the hacker (because every modern heist crew needs a hacker)
• Rolph, the getaway driver (played by British comedian Guz Khan—the only reason I gave this movie a chance)
• Brad, the gunman

The team plans to commit three bank robberies, each one more challenging than the last. The big draw for Sebastian is that one of the safes on their list is one he’s always dreamed of seeing—and cracking.

The first heist, as I mentioned, is ridiculously easy. The second one is tougher and finally gets interesting, but the momentum doesn’t last long. After that, the movie quickly fizzles out, ending on a disappointing note.

You can catch this movie on Netflix, but honestly, you’re not missing anything if you skip it.