Emily the Criminal (2022)

Emily the Criminal (2022)

5/10

Starring

Aubrey Plaza

Theo Rossi

Megalyn Echikunwoke

Gina Gershon

 

Directed by John Patton Ford

 

Decaying somewhere will be this movie, and all memory of me seeing it will soon be lost. The sad thing is that it won’t be missed. Even though the movie is slightly more entertaining than the nonsense thrown at us during this drought of good, eye-watering cinema, it still lacks the ingredients to make it memorable.

A hard-luck woman decides to tackle her difficulties by getting involved in an illegal credit card scheme, which inevitably leads to needless tragedy and deceit. Wow! How surprising. The biggest problem isn’t just the lack of originality—it’s the lack of creativity in recycling ideas. Sure, there’s nothing truly new under the sun, but at least do something worthwhile with what you’re reusing.

This movie relied too heavily on Ctrl+C (copy) and Ctrl+V (paste) from things we’ve already seen.

Emily is working hard, doing odd jobs to get by, hoping to land a better job and escape her current state of despair. One day, a colleague asks her to cover his shift and, in return, gives her a contact offering $200 an hour. The offer seems too good to be true, and she jumps at the chance, only to discover it’s a fraudulent credit card scheme. The job involves going to a store, buying an expensive item with a fake credit card and fake ID, and then handing it over to the ring leaders. For each successful run, she earns $200.

Her first attempt goes smoothly, and she gets a second offer—this time for $2,000. Things don’t go as well on this run, but out of nowhere, one of the men overseeing the ring takes a liking to Emily. Their budding connection leads to Emily getting her own setup: her own numbers, a fake card-making device, and the ability to make her own purchases to sell on the street.

As expected, things spiral out of control when the two decide to become a couple, and the movie ends in a way that highlights just how much more compelling it could have been if the writer had been more creative with the material.

The current drought of good movies, combined with directors and writers being stretched thin across endless streaming platforms, means we’re often left to make do with what’s dropped at our feet. While this isn’t one of the best options out there, it’s something to pass the time while waiting for something better.