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A Haunted House (2013)



A Haunted House (2013)



4/10



Starring
Marlon Wayans
Essence Atkins


Directed by Michael Tiddes


This Marlon Wayans movie is a cheap mistake. It’s wrong on so many levels and tries hard to be like Scary Movie, but Wayans just went overboard with the level of disgust and sexuality in this found-footage comedy/horror spoof.

It always amazes me when movie makers think perversion and disgust are what you need to make a good spoof movie. I don’t find it entertaining when a movie shows a girl taking a dump or farting in her sleep—it’s disgusting to witness in real life, let alone on screen. A Haunted House has all of this and more. Yes, there were times I laughed, but by the end, I felt like I had violated my eyes. The sodomy scene was the height of it for me; I almost stopped watching.

After watching this spoof, which borrows ideas from The Exorcist (1973) and others, you start to wonder how to rate it: 5/10 for making you laugh sometimes, or 4/10 for making you want to puke. The plot revolves around a couple, Malcolm (Marlon Wayans) and Keisha (Essence Atkins), who decide to move in together. Keisha has long been haunted by a ghost, and as she moves in with Malcolm, the ghost follows.

Here’s where the movie gets a twist (according to Wayans): Malcolm believes that white people are the only ones who stay in haunted houses, while black people run for their lives. He tries to convince Keisha they should leave, not realizing the ghost is actually haunting her. It’s only when they call in a weird, gay psychic that the truth is revealed.

Another major issue I had with the movie is how it mishandles the whole exorcism theme. I’m not Catholic, but I don’t think such things should be played with—some topics should just be left alone. I’m not a fan of horror movies because they usually bore me, so I haven’t seen many of the popular ones lately. If they’re anything like what I saw here, I thank God I haven’t wasted my time watching them.

As horrible as this movie was, and as lame as its cinematography, it was a financial success, making over 10 times its $2.5 million production cost at the box office. To me, that’s amazing because after watching it, I never want to see it again—and I can’t advise anyone else to either. The movie has its own set of viewers is not for everyone.

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