Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013)

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Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013)

4/10

Starring

Jeremy Renner

Gemma Arterton

Famke Janssen

Pihla Viitala

Directed by Tommy Wirkola

The movie starts promising and ends disappointing. The movie is meant to be a cross between action, horror and comedy but forget the last two (horror and comedy) because the jokes are just flying over your head and the horror scenes will make you yawn. My main problem with the movie is the cursing (which were few, mind you), before any of the lead characters uses the f-word, there was a pause and the camera focuses on the face and the f-word will be given a grand entrance, as if the word is holy. My final take is that this movie is just a saddle stick for a sequel and it is just borderline crap.

The summary of the plot which adds a new spin to the fairy tale has Hansel & Gretel (Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton respectively) as bounty hunters who track and kill witches all over the place. At a town children are being taken by witches, and the duo is called to investigate. They came across a plot by the witches, a plot which involves the Blood Moon and the siblings face an evil that holds the secret to their past.

The movie is written and directed by Tommy Wirkola (a Norwegian) who makes a living making action horror flicks and this crap-piece is his first big budget film, he is noted to have said that he was surprised (and so am I) that the big Hollywood studios went for the movie calling his script a “rock n’ roll script”. The script is rock n’ roll alright rolling down to the gutter with a script that made me want to puke, bad continuity from one scene to the other it is just topsy-turvy, with nothing going straight. It seems like you the viewer is left wondering why some things are happening, and forget the twist, the movie is predictable.

I have seen better movies in my life and if this was a B-movie it would have been best, I can’t imagine the cost the CGI must have taken from the huge 50 million budget of this movie. The CGI and stunts are cool but everything else will make you want to smash the screen.

What I advice any movie watcher to do is to not bother seeing this movie, try and watch something else, there is no surprises, no wow moment, no story depth nothing. just a bunch of guys running around feeling cool killing witches.

The sad thing I have to say is that, bad guys narrating their entire evil plot to the hero instead of just killing them straight away, is kind of an out dated practice, so I was surprise to see it here. Please don’t watch this.