Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken (2023)

 Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken (2023)

 

2/10

Starring

Lana Condor

Toni Collette

Annie Murphy

Colman Domingo

Jane Fonda

 

Directed by Kirk DeMicco

 

Sometimes when a film sucks, we can wonder why? This is an animation with a very odd name and the story will be unique, and the production cost seems high enough for a good CGI, so why would it suck?

Then you start watching and five minutes into the film, you see why it sucked and why it was a box office flop. I happen to have moved around children of today and heard them talk, this is something I think the writers lack the awareness of (even if they have children). Children of today are a lot smarter than we were when we were their age. Their eyes have seen animated things like Spiderverse and Disney stuff, to think this bad CGI and weak boring Krakens will make them want a re-watch, is crazy.

This film is so silly, that it is amazing it even got green lit. I do not get it. The plot is about a family of Krakens who left the sea to live with humans and fooled the whole humans in the town they live in that they are humans too, but from Canada.

Now you will think, Kraken’s look like humans for this to be possible, but no!

Krakens are blue and shaped differently and can move their bodies about like eels. So, you will think again, these blue creatures will at least wear some makeup and move around like humans. But they do not even attempt to do any of those things. They go about blue and move freely. Anytime you see them act odd, they use I am from Canada to explain away the weirdness, and the people buy it.

You will think, I am overthinking this animation, but there is nothing to think not to mention overthinking. I kept wondering why, why not make it so that when they are on land, their body turns human. Will that not have been easy, and when they get to sea they turn back.

The Teenager in our Kraken family, Ruby, wants to go to prom. Her mother does not want her to, because the venue is on a boat which will be in the water. Ruby’s mom does not want Ruby near water at all. But as teenagers go, the more she is denied this, the more she wants it. She and her three friends want to show up to the Prom with their dream dates, and Ruby is no exception.

How she managed to get herself on the boat, and then the repercussion of going on this trip is all this film has to offer, predictable and just downright boring and a proper waste of your precious time.