Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken (2023)
2/10
Starring
Lana
Condor
Toni
Collette
Annie
Murphy
Colman
Domingo
Jane
Fonda
Directed
by Kirk DeMicco
Sometimes
when a film sucks, we can wonder why? This is an animation with a very odd name
and the story will be unique, and the production cost seems high enough for a good
CGI, so why would it suck?
Then
you start watching and five minutes into the film, you see why it sucked and
why it was a box office flop. I happen to have moved around children of today
and heard them talk, this is something I think the writers lack the awareness
of (even if they have children). Children of today are a lot smarter than we
were when we were their age. Their eyes have seen animated things like Spiderverse
and Disney stuff, to think this bad CGI and weak boring Krakens will
make them want a re-watch, is crazy.
This
film is so silly, that it is amazing it even got green lit. I do not get it. The
plot is about a family of Krakens who left the sea to live with humans and fooled
the whole humans in the town they live in that they are humans too, but from
Canada.
Now
you will think, Kraken’s look like humans for this to be possible, but no!
Krakens
are blue and shaped differently and can move their bodies about like
eels. So, you will think again, these blue creatures will at least wear some
makeup and move around like humans. But they do not even attempt to do any of
those things. They go about blue and move freely. Anytime you see them act odd,
they use I am from Canada to explain away the weirdness, and the people buy
it.
You
will think, I am overthinking this animation, but there is nothing to think not
to mention overthinking. I kept wondering why, why not make it so that when
they are on land, their body turns human. Will that not have been easy, and
when they get to sea they turn back.
The
Teenager in our Kraken family, Ruby, wants to go to prom. Her mother does not want
her to, because the venue is on a boat which will be in the water. Ruby’s mom
does not want Ruby near water at all. But as teenagers go, the more she is
denied this, the more she wants it. She and her three friends want to show up
to the Prom with their dream dates, and Ruby is no exception.
How
she managed to get herself on the boat, and then the repercussion of going on
this trip is all this film has to offer, predictable and just downright boring
and a proper waste of your precious time.
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