Joy Ride (2023)

Joy Ride (2023)

 

7/10

 

Starring

Ashley Park

Sherry Cola

Stephanie Hsu

Sabrina Wu

 

Directed by Adele Lim

 

Coming from a guy, I liked the way this film handled women and sexuality. It did a great job with the character development of the four main ladies and kept finding ways to pull a rabbit out of a hat just when you thought you had guessed how things were going to turn out.

This is a good film, and it deserves more attention, especially for how well it was written and directed by Adele Lim in her directorial debut.

It’s easy to walk into the cinema expecting to see something with B-movie-level acting and writing when the premise is about women going on a trip. That’s what Hollywood usually delivers in these kinds of films, so you can already predict a few things that might happen. This movie has some of those predictable moments too it sticks to the road trip formula, but the way it executes the familiar is where it shines.

There’s always one overly serious character in road trip films, and here, it’s Audrey (an Asian woman adopted by white parents as a child). She needs to visit China for a business trip but doesn’t speak any Chinese. Audrey’s childhood friend, Lolo, who grew up in a Chinese family and speaks the language, comes along to help translate. Audrey also plans to meet her university friend, Kat, an actress living in China. Rounding out the group is Deadeye, Lolo’s cousin, who joins them on the trip.

As expected, things go wrong. The group loses their passports after a mishap, and just when they seem to catch a break, the film takes a strong sexual detour that only adds to their troubles. From there, the group's bad luck was piling up, and their friendship gets pushed to the limit.

In the end, while the overall structure follows the typical road trip formula, I like the spin this movie adds to it. It starts with a business and then turns to a series of unfortunate events, which eventual ends with the group breaking up and reconciling. The movie is full of funny and occasionally surprising moments, and doesn’t stray far from what you’d expect. The actresses did a great job in their roles, bringing the characters to life with performances that were both goofy and engaging. While this film wasn’t a massive box-office hit, it’s definitely a standout in its category. If any movie deserves another go at the road trip formula, this one does it better than most we’ve seen try.

Hidden Strike (2023)

Hidden Strike (2023)

 

3/10

Starring

Jackie Chan

John Cena

 

Directed by Scott Waugh

 

An action movie with John Cena and Jackie Chan, and I still found myself bored.

You can tell when a production starts as a pipe dream someone had the idea of putting John Cena and Jackie Chan together in an action film with comedic elements. Eventually, they got funding for the idea, and the producers scrambled to piece together a script. The biggest problem here is that the film seems to think it could emulate Rush Hour. Then, to make things worse, the director decided to throw in elements of Mad Max: Fury Road, resulting in a jumbled mess. For a movie marketed as an action-thriller with comedy, it feels like a fish out of water.

The film introduces Jackie Chan’s character, Luo, in a relatively grounded way: he and his team are hired to extract someone, and they must cross the infamous "Highway of Death" to complete their mission. But then we meet John Cena’s character, Chris, in the most cartoonish setup possible. He’s shown lounging in a make-believe desert, hitting golf balls while his mercenary buddies arrive in jeeps, they ask him to come take up a job with them, but he refuses. The job was to go after Luo and his team.

The writers try to establish Chris as a good guy by showing him playing ball with a local boy in the town where he lives. Somehow, this one scene is supposed to convince us that he’s a "good guy in bad situations." Really? That’s all it takes?

The town doesn’t have water, and Chris learns from a fellow mercenary that the water can be turned back on for $100,000. Predictably, he calls his friends back and agrees to take the job (hunting Luo’s team) to earn the money and save the town from dying of thirst. The writers clearly think this reinforces his "good guy" persona, but they forget one glaring detail: Chris also lives in this town. If the town runs out of water, it affects him too. So, is he really being selfless, or just saving his own neck?

As expected, things don’t go according to plan. The film launches into a Mad Max: Fury Road style chase sequence, with explosions and chaos. Somewhere along the way, Chris parts ways with his mercenary group and crosses paths with Luo. Surprise, surprise—they know each other from their special forces days. After an obligatory fight scene, the two team up.

The action sequences are generic at best. It’s textbook B-film action with no attempt to elevate the material. Despite its big budget, the film sticks firmly in the realm of mediocre, failing to stand out among other B-movies in the same category.

Oppenheimer (2023)

Oppenheimer (2023)

 3/10

Starring

Cillian Murphy

Emily Blunt

Matt Damon

Robert Downey Jr.

Florence Pugh

 

Directed by Christopher Nolan

 

The film felt like Christopher Nolan wanted to prove he could make a three-hour-long movie about a subject he likes, turn it into a blockbuster, and have everyone want to see it. Because regardless of what I have read about this movie, I could not help but feel everyone is in on a joke except me. This movie is very boring and beyond the titular character, none of the other characters are given any depth. The film is so disjointed and lacks cohesion that there’s no point in trying to connect with anyone else. Cillian Murphy plays Oppenheimer, and apparently, that’s all that matters. Attempting to string a meaningful connection between the characters is a waste of time, just learn their names and places and move on.

As expected, the cinematography is world-class, as you’d expect from Nolan. But that’s about it. The storytelling is poor, and the non-linear structure makes it difficult to piece things together at first. When you finally understand the flow, you’re left wondering if it was even worth the effort.

Christopher Nolan is undeniably a great filmmaker, but the pride behind this film’s creation is evident. It feels like something made for himself rather than for the audience to enjoy.

The plot focuses on Oppenheimer, a physicist tasked with developing the atomic bomb during World War II. While the film explores moral dilemmas, questioning, and drama, it’s presented through cut scenes and a non-linear narrative that trades storytelling for flashy visuals. In the end, I couldn’t help but think, “Why didn’t I just read the book instead?”

Sometimes, it feels like reviewers and award shows decide in advance which films they’ll champion, regardless of their actual quality. This seems to be one of those cases. Despite its flaws, Oppenheimer receives overwhelming praise because of its marketing power and the name Christopher Nolan. Meanwhile, better independent films go unnoticed.

This is the Oppenheimer and Barbie year. Even Barbie, which was released around the same time, seems to have the same luck for being an award movie. Its marketing and messaging made it difficult for some people to openly criticize it. The same seems true for Oppenheimer. Any negative opinions risk being dismissed, simply because of the filmmaker behind it.

There’s no point rushing to see this film. It wasn’t worth the time or money I spent watching it. If you must see it, wait until it ends up free on a streaming service.

Barbie (2023)

Barbie (2023)

2/10

Starring

Margot Robbie

Ryan Gosling

America Ferrera

 

Directed by Greta Gerwig

 

There comes a time when you just know that everyone is pulling a fast one on you. You are the butt of the joke. This time, it’s all the people who rated this film so highly. Let me tell you, this film sucks. Same with Oppenheimer, there seems to be some jokes that I am not getting.

I saw it, waiting to experience all the greatness people were raving about. Yes, the acting was good. But beyond that, the characters were stuck in their own identities, making the entire movie feel stiff. And the story? OMG, this film should have been called Barbie’s Feminist Movement Parade.

I love Margot Robbie no film can undo her influence or the incredible work she’s done in the industry. But seriously, what was the point of this movie? Every wannabe TikToker or influencer is out there shouting the same thing, saying this film is great, at the top of its lungs. But even with all its messaging, the film could have done so much better.

What made the Lego films cool was how they broke away from the identity of the box their characters came from. But here, Barbie is stuck in that box wanting to be perfect, wanting things to return to the way they were, where she was in control. And when things do change, she doesn’t restore balance in Barbieland. Instead, she makes it so women rule everything, while the Kens are reduced to mere decoration.

Now, the plot: Barbie starts her perfect day in Barbieland, where everything is always the same. Nothing changes until one morning, she wakes up consumed by thoughts of mortality and sadness. She confides in the other Barbies, who send her to meet Weird Barbie. Weird Barbie explains that someone in the real world is projecting their fears and thoughts onto her, causing a crack between their worlds. To fix it, Barbie must venture into the real world, find this person, and set things right.

Barbie takes Ken along, and they quickly discover that the real world isn’t a reflection of Barbieland. While Barbie struggles to make sense of the real world, Ken becomes enamored with the concept of patriarchy and decides it’s the perfect system for Barbieland.

This film was offensive to my brain. I think I lost IQ points watching it.

I wouldn’t be surprised if this film became a box-office hit. People will probably praise it out of fear of being different or telling the truth: this film sucks.

Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken (2023)

 Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken (2023)

 

2/10

Starring

Lana Condor

Toni Collette

Annie Murphy

Colman Domingo

Jane Fonda

 

Directed by Kirk DeMicco

 

Sometimes, when a film sucks, we wonder why. This is an animation with a very odd name, a seemingly unique story, and a production budget that should have delivered great CGI. So, what went wrong?

Well, when you start watching and just about five minutes in, it will be clear to you why this movie flopped at the box office. I’ve spent time around kids today and listened to how they talk. One thing is obvious: children today are much smarter than we were at their age. They’ve grown up with animations like Spider-Verse and Disney films, so thinking this bad CGI and boring Krakens would hold their attention, or even warrant a re-watch, is ridiculous.

This film is so silly that it’s amazing it even got greenlit. The plot revolves around a family of Krakens who left the sea to live among humans. They manage to fool the entire town into believing they’re human too, by claiming they’re from Canada. You’d think Krakens look human for this to work, but no! Krakens are blue, oddly shaped, and move like eels, when they are away from water. You’d also assume they’d try to disguise themselves with makeup or act more human. But they don’t. They wander around as blue creatures, and anytime someone questions their behavior, they explain it away with, "I’m from Canada." And, somehow, people believe it. I do not know if Canadians should be upset by this, or it is one of those jokes where oddly behaved people are perceived to be from Canada, probably it is a USA thing.

You might think I’m overthinking this animation, but trust me, there’s nothing to overthink. Why not make it so that Krakens turn humans on land and revert back in the sea? That simple change would’ve solved so many plot holes. One thing is, if they get into water they transform to full Kraken.

The teenager in our Kraken family, Ruby, wants to go to prom. Her mother forbids her because the venue is on a boat, which will be in the water. Of course, as teenagers do, the more she’s told no, the more determined she becomes. Ruby and her friends dream of showing up to prom with their ideal dates, and Ruby is no exception.

How Ruby sneaks onto the boat and the predictable consequences of her actions form the rest of the story. It’s dull, formulaic, and an outright waste of time.

Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One (2023)

 

Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One (2023)

 

8/10

Starring

Tom Cruise

Ving Rhames

Simon Pegg

Hayley Atwell

 

Directed by Christopher McQuarrie

 

Leave it to Mission Impossible to kick off with an opening scene that spooks you and locks you in for the rest of the film. From the start, it’s clear this is a two-parter, which is one thing I dislike about some films—why make it so long, just to let me know I have another long movie to see some years after? That said, Hunt and his team deliver an exciting story that makes me look forward to the second part. The ending is satisfying and sets up the next installment perfectly. If all goes well, the second part should be out within a year—assuming the Writers’ and SAG strikes don’t delay it further.

Ethan Hunt is back with his team for another seemingly impossible mission. This seventh installment in the series continues from Mission: Impossible – Fallout (2018), and like all its predecessors, it delivers magnificent stunts, impeccably edited scenes, and breathtaking cinematography. True to form, the film makes use of multiple stunning locations, as the series is known for never staying in one place for long.

This time, Hunt’s team is up against a rogue AI called The Entity. From the start of the film, we see what the AI is capable of, and now it’s up to Hunt and his team to take on the impossible task of stopping it.

Their mission? To acquire a key, which we learn early on is split into two parts. One half is with Ethan’s friend Ilsa Faust, who also has a bounty on her head. Ethan is tasked with retrieving her half and, with his team, securing the other half to return to the IMF.

If you’ve been following the series, you’ll remember Ilsa has been working with Ethan and his team since Rouge Nation (MI5) and returned in Fallout (MI6). Retrieving the key from Ilsa isn’t easy—not because she’s unwilling to help, but because the bounty hunters after her are relentless. Before starting his mission, Ethan infiltrates an intelligence meeting to learn what the key is meant to unlock. It turns out the AI, originally designed to sabotage systems, has gone sentient and hacked into all the world’s major defense systems. Every global power is now aware of this rogue AI and is racing to control it. The key is believed to hold some sort of control over the AI, though no one knows exactly how it works or what it does.

From the start, Ethan is warned not to go rogue as he often does, but he has his own thoughts on who should control the key—and the ultimate power it represents.

In the end, this film offers an amazing plot, great twists and turns, and jaw-dropping stunts. It’s an enjoyable ride from start to finish. Hunt’s team is bigger, and the mission isn’t over yet. I can’t wait for the second part, which will be the eighth film in the series. Even at a time when movies are struggling at the box office, the Mission: Impossible series continues to perform remarkably well.

Transformers: Rise of the Beasts (2023)

Transformers: Rise of the Beasts (2023)

5/10

Starring

Anthony Ramos

Dominique Fishback

Luna Lauren Vélez

 

Directed by Steven Caple Jr.

 

I’ll be honest—I’ve lost track of how many films this franchise has or how many I’ve even seen, because they just keep making them. What I do remember, though, is how much I enjoyed Bumblebee five years ago. So, I walked into this film with an open mind, ready to either enjoy myself or officially sign off from the franchise.

Right away, the film delivers as much CGI and special effects as you’d expect. There are plenty of action-packed, metal-on-metal fight sequences, which might be exciting for some. For those of us who grew up with the cartoon, though, it’s just okay. Unfortunately, the cringy, cheesy lines and scattered scenes really dragged it down for me.

I felt Bumblebee was much better. A scaled-down version with fewer metal-on-metal fights and more focus on plot and character drama would make a stronger film. The excessive action scenes, paired with low-grade drama, made me want to fast-forward through parts of it. Bumblebee struck the perfect balance—it focused on character relationships and kept the action meaningful, which made it a fantastic prequel to the franchise.

In case you didn’t know, this film takes place before the first Transformers movie from 2007. It’s a sequel to Bumblebee, though Hailee Steinfeld doesn’t return in this installment.

One thing I’ve never understood is why films make the bad guys so impossible to kill, only for the good guys to miraculously find a way to win. Somehow, the heroes always discover a hidden strength or wisdom that the villains never see coming.

The plot revolves around the Transwarp Key, which allows its holder to travel through space and time. The Maximals are the key’s guardians, but their world is attacked by Unicron, a planet-devouring force. Unicron sends his Terrorcons, led by Scourge, to steal the key. When they fail, the surviving Maximals escape with the key, leaving Unicron trapped in their galaxy after destroying their home world.

The story then shifts to Earth, where the key is discovered by a museum intern named Elena. She accidentally activates its beacon, which only the bots can see. Scourge and the Terrorcons attack the museum, sparking a battle between the Autobots and the Terrorcons. Scourge easily overpowers the Autobots, but a Maximal arrives just in time to save them.

Scourge manages to get the key and almost kills the Autobots, but he soon learns that the Maximals split the key in two. What he has is only half. The Maximals inform the Autobots of this, and together with Elena and Noah—an unlikely ally who stumbled into the chaos—they set out to find the other half before Scourge does.

I’m certain there will be more films in this franchise. Given how much money these movies continue to make, I doubt they plan to stop anytime soon. While this film didn’t quite match the magic of Bumblebee for me, it’s another solid addition to the seemingly never-ending Transformers saga.

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023)

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023)

6/10

Starring

Harrison Ford

Phoebe Waller-Bridge

Antonio Banderas

John Rhys-Davies

 

Directed by James Mangold

 

This is supposedly the fifth and final installment in the Indiana Jones film series, following Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008). The film opens with a jaw-dropping use of CGI to de-age Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones. While many didn’t enjoy The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, I did, so I was really looking forward to this one.

The massive expense on locations, costumes, and special effects is evident when watching this film, though I couldn’t help but wonder why they didn’t scale it back a bit. This is the first film in the series without Steven Spielberg directing or George Lucas working on the plot, and maybe that’s why it doesn’t quite match the magic of the previous entries.

The movie drags more than it should, spending too much time on mysteries and running around. Still, I’m not upset about it—the director clearly wanted this to feel like a grand, final hurrah for Indiana Jones. What I did find unnecessary, though, was the over-the-top CGI sequence of Jones jumping around in the opening scene.

As expected, Harrison Ford is back with his iconic hat and whip, paired this time with Phoebe Waller-Bridge, who plays Helena, Jones’s goddaughter. She’s also an archaeologist and comes looking for a mysterious artifact—the dial—that’s in Jones’s custody. The story reveals that Jones originally acquired the dial from Helena’s father, who nearly lost his mind trying to understand it before handing it to Jones to destroy. In the future, Helena gets the dial from Jones, but her complicated past and greed cause it to fall into the wrong hands.

What’s an Indiana Jones movie without bad guys? This time, it’s Jürgen Voller (Mads Mikkelsen), a German villain with plans to reassemble the dial and rewrite history. What follows is a globe-trotting chase as Jones, Helena, and their team race to stop Voller from altering world events.

I wasn’t particularly drawn to Helena’s character—not due to the performance, but because of how the character was written. She felt more like a plot device than a compelling addition to the story.

It’s no surprise that this film is a box office flop. The Indiana Jones character has run its course, and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull should have been the series finale. Many older fans of the original trilogy weren’t keen on The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and are likely waiting for this film to hit Disney+ rather than going to the cinema.

On top of that, studios keep cramming too many blockbusters into the same release window, leaving no room for this movie to stand out. Disney will undoubtedly add it to their streaming library soon, but I wish it had been a bigger success both in cinemas and online.

Daughter of the Bride (2023)

Daughter of the Bride (2023)

 2/10

Starring

Marcia Gay Harden

Halston Sage

Andrew Richardson

Cara Santana

 

Directed by Annette Haywood-Carter

 

The concept of this film lost me from the start. It took me a while to finally grasp the idea behind Daughter of the Bride.

I decided to watch it because any time I see a movie with "bride" in the title, I want to watch it. Father of the Bride (1991) brought me so much happiness growing up. Unfortunately, one thing this film lacked was proper directing. The scenes felt forced, and it’s obvious right from the start. The younger actors didn’t seem to fit naturally into their roles or with each other, especially in dialogue. The quality of their acting is worse than what you’d expect from even a B-movie. The older actors delivered as seasoned professionals would, but I couldn’t get past how terrible Halston Sage was.

She acted like one of those characters in Nickelodeon children’s shows that you know not to take seriously. All she needed to do was stop forcing it and act naturally. It’s a bad sign when you feel you could do a better job than the actor on screen.

The plot revolves around the close bond between a mother and daughter, which has endured from childhood to adulthood. Their relationship wasn’t the problem—everything else was. Kate (Sage) sees an older man helping a younger man start a car and is impressed by the way he carries himself. On a whim, she hands him her mother’s phone number and doesn’t think twice about it. Six weeks later, they’re engaged, and Kate is freaking out because she never expected things to move so fast—or even get to this point.

A Father of the Bride (1991) situation unfolds, with Kate panicking over her mother marrying a man she barely knows. Since the film lacked substance or enough material to carry the plot, they added another love story for Kate, which runs parallel to her mother’s wedding plans. Unfortunately, Kate’s love story is just as weak as her acting.

I’m especially critical because Father of the Bride is one of my favorite movies from the 1990s. When I was young, I didn’t even realize it was a remake of a 1950s film starring Spencer Tracy—I just knew I loved it. Growing up on the Banks family and then seeing the sequel felt like a perfect continuation. Father of the Bride (1991) and its 1995 sequel were my happy places as a child.

So when they released that disastrous remake in 2022 with a cast full of annoying characters, I was genuinely offended.

The Out-Laws (2023)

 The Out-Laws (2023)

 

2/10

Starring

Adam DeVine

Nina Dobrev

Ellen Barkin

Pierce Brosnan

 

Directed by Tyler Spindel

 

I am envious of Adam Sandler and the deal he has with Netflix to produce movies for them. I guess when you have an empty library because other production companies remove their content from your platform, you’ll allow anything and everything in just to fill the space.

This film was released on Netflix last week, and to be honest, the only thing it’s good for is filling space. There is nothing worth watching here. The moment the new in-laws (Billy and Lilly, played by Pierce Brosnan and Ellen Barkin respectively) walked in and our lead (Owen, played by Adam DeVine) met them, the whole film unraveled. It lost everything that had me interested and became a total mess of a production.

Here’s the skinny on the plot: Owen and Parker are about to get married. We meet Owen’s family, who are, like in all movies, too goofy to be real. But Parker’s parents aren’t around, and it seems they’ll miss the wedding. Then, a call comes through saying they’re coming, and Owen is thrilled—but Parker is oddly reserved.

Owen starts digging into Parker’s parents and does something no one would ever do—he calls a place they’re connected to and asks for photos of them. Somehow, he thinks this is a great idea. It turns out the place he called isn’t exactly legitimate, and Parker’s parents are wanted by the “bad guys,” who are yet another goofy bunch. So, Owen’s call and leaving his details behind does more harm than good.

There’s a disconnect between the actors that makes you wonder how the director or casting team let it slip. The chemistry between Ellen Barkin and Nina Dobrev was particularly bad.

Another horrible aspect of this film is how Pierce Brosnan seemed like he was in a completely different movie. He was too much of a character compared to everyone else, and I couldn’t figure out if this was good or bad for him as an actor. Either way, it didn’t fit the film’s context at all.

This is a truly horrible film, no matter when you watch it. There has to be something better you could do with your time.

Why Netflix feels it’s OK to allow movies like this to be produced is beyond me. They’ve had great films that are worth watching twice over instead of this. Here, the characters never seem real, and the plot felt like something a three-year-old made up on the spot when asked to tell a story.

Extraction 2 (2023)

Extraction 2 (2023)

8/10

Starring

Chris Hemsworth

Golshifteh Farahani

 

Directed by Sam Hargrave

 

When action movie buffs tell you a film is better than John Wick 4, you start to wonder—what more could they have done?

I half expected Extraction 2 to be worse than the first movie, but it’s not just a step up—it puts itself on another level. The movie is magnificent and one of the best I’ve seen this year. I like how it begins with the hero recovering, followed by the introduction of a new character, played by Idris Elba, who pulls him out of retirement for, as they say, “one last job.” Which is one of the most common phrase used in action movies, so when I heard it used here I had a smile wide enough to engulf the screen.

The movie unfolds as you’d expect: he says he’s out, but the game pulls him back in. I appreciate how the movie uses different locations to unfold its plot. The action scenes are just what you’d expect, and the movie doesn’t shy away from the Rambo-like trope of one guy against a whole battalion of bad guys. At least our hero has a team with him, but as Rambo-like movies go… I won’t spoil it for you. Watch it and see for yourself.

When Tyler (Chris Hemsworth) is offered a job to extract a woman and her two children from a prison, the money is good, and the person who sent Elba to relay the request is someone he can’t turn down. The woman and her children are in the prison because her husband, Davit, was imprisoned there. His own people on the outside, with the help of corrupt government officials, put his family in prison with him—partly to keep him company and partly as a way of controlling him. The problem is, he’s a terrible father and husband, and the extraction is meant to save the woman and her children from an unbearable life.

During the riot, the wrong people died at Tyler’s hands, and an entire army of men controlled by Davit and his brother Zurab came after him and his team. After a twenty-minute setup, the movie kicks into gear, and the action doesn’t let up until the end.

This is by far one of the best movies I’ve seen this year, and if you have seen  the first movie and you liked it, you will like this one too. You can catch it on Netflix.

Book Club: The Next Chapter (2023)

 Book Club: The Next Chapter (2023)

 

3/10

 

Starring

Diane Keaton

Jane Fonda

Candice Bergen

Mary Steenburgen

 

Directed by Bill Holderman

 

You can tell there was no real reason for this movie to be made. The plot was a wasted attempt to make money from the first movie, which I actually liked. The all-female lead cast carried the first movie, even though its script wasn’t great. They did their best here, but the script for this movie was even worse than the first one. The first movie made nearly ten times its production cost, so of course the studio wanted to try again. They regrouped the women, and thought they could get away with a weaker script and hope the charm of the ladies will be enough. Sadly, their charm was not enough to carry this second movie.

More than half the movie felt like the characters were joyriding in Italy. Why would I pay to sit through something that felt like a travel vlog sponsored by the Italian government?

The movie takes place after the first one, which came out in 2018. Then in 2019, COVID hit. The friends kept in touch through the internet and video calls. Now that COVID is over, they can finally meet in person. They decide to do something they’d planned years ago: take a trip to Italy. Vivian (Jane Fonda) reveals she’s engaged, so the four decide to add a bachelorette party twist to the trip.

As expected in movies like this, too much time was wasted on aimless scenes because the writers didn’t bother giving these talented actors meaningful material. Predictably, someone got robbed, someone flirted, and they ended up in trouble that required endless talk and persuasion to resolve, leading to the wedding.

I wish I hadn’t wasted my time watching this. The movie is so bad, you’re better off just reading the plot online and saving yourself the effort.

The movie made the characters feel old and dragged at a painfully slow pace. Events unfolded so slowly, and the reactions were even slower, making me wonder if the director was afraid to shout, "CUT! More energy, people!" It could be judging by the talent before him, he probably just let them lead.

In the end, it was an unrealistic story of four older women determined to prove they’ve still got it, with the world bending over backward to accommodate them. There’s nothing wrong with having self-belief, but this movie could have been about more than that and an impromptu bachelorette party that didn’t fit into the story.

Nimona (2023)

Nimona (2023)

 

7/10

 

Starring the voices of

Chloe Grace Moretz

Riz Ahmed

 

Directed by Nick Bruno and Troy Quane

 

I must be honest—the first few minutes of this animation had me thinking I’d wasted my time putting it on. I later summoned the courage to stick to my belief: "If the first twenty minutes don’t give me a reason to continue, I’ll shut it off." I was waiting for things to go wrong, as you’d expect in a story like this. The opening sequence gave a little too much away for me to not anticipate something going wrong. The introduction of Nimona was nothing like I expected.

This is an animation for children, so don’t overthink the fact that their entire town is surrounded by a wall to keep monsters out. They have an institute that’s been grooming and training monster fighters for centuries, but none has ever seen a monster. The only ones who’ve seen a monster were alive during the time of their leader, Gloreth, who lived about a thousand years ago. Everyone after that time has never seen or heard of a monster beyond the walls. Yet they keep training knights to prepare for the monsters’ return, while their entire civilization (set in a futuristic fantasy world) lives behind a massive wall, isolated from everything.

The animation is based on a graphic novel of the same name by ND Stevenson. It begins by introducing Ballister, a commoner who has risen through the ranks to become the first knight not from Gloreth’s bloodline. On the day he’s set to receive his knighthood, the queen is murdered, and he becomes the prime—and only—suspect. He’s being hunted and loses his arm during the escape. Now living in hiding, he’s determined to find out who framed him.

While roaming the streets, Nimona—a little girl of about ten—spots him and follows him to his hideout. She asks to be his sidekick in his supposed villainous rampage against everyone. Nimona seems to hate everyone and just wants to punch their faces in. She thinks Ballister is a villain and wants to work with him. They somehow form a partnership, and he explains that he’s innocent, trying to distance himself from her.

In his quest to clear his name, his naivety gets him arrested, and it’s then that he learns Nimona is a shapeshifter. She breaks him out of jail using her abilities, causing a lot of chaos. Now they’re being hunted, and Nimona seems thrilled to be known as a bad guy.

The anti-hero Nimona and Ballister duo is fun to watch and enjoyable for children and adults alike. The animation isn’t particularly grand, and I didn’t enjoy it much at first. But as the story develops, you find yourself getting used to it and watching on. You can catch this animation on Netflix.