The Jerk (1979)

The Jerk (1979)

7/10

Starring

Steve Martin

Directed by Carl Reiner

Three times I’ve tried to watch The Jerk (1979), and three times I couldn’t get past the hitchhiking scene from his home, where he struggled to go farther than his fence.

The movie didn’t have a good start, and if not for my resolution to watch just 20 minutes before deciding to delete it, I would’ve missed out. But 20 minutes in, I was hooked. The Jerk is Steve Martin’s first feature film after a long, successful career as a standup comedian. It will make you laugh at how silly this movie can be, and yet it holds its character in high regard.

Here’s what I mean: Navin, in this movie, is like the “dumb and dumber” of other films, where the character is oblivious to what’s happening around him and too clueless to notice. But here, Navin’s character starts off dumb and oblivious, yet as he ventures out into the world, we see him grow a little smarter in his actions. Navin goes after the things he wants and tries to balance his life, all while still remaining dumb.

That, to me, is what makes this movie a classic. In other movies, characters go full dumb and oblivious, but here we see something different. It’s amazing that even today, many films haven’t learned from what Martin did in this one.

The movie was written by Martin as his introduction to Hollywood. Aside from the difficulties he faced getting it made, I can imagine Martin didn’t expect his Hollywood career to extend so far that people would remember him more for his movies than his standup.

The movie starts with Navin telling the camera how he became a homeless bum. Navin is an adopted white kid living with an African American family, completely unaware that he’s a white man among black folks.

After hearing an orchestra song on the radio that gets him moving, he decides to hitchhike to St. Louis to chase the music. Navin’s life begins the moment he gets a ride that takes him beyond his home fence. From meeting a dog, getting his first job, running away with the circus, finding a girlfriend, falling in love (in that order), becoming a millionaire, and then losing it all to end up a bum—it’s a wild ride.

The movie is more than just interesting; it was a huge financial success at the box office, raking in over $73 million from a $4 million budget. It was also a critical success, and you’ll find The Jerk on AFI’s 100 Years… 100 Laughs list at number 89. If you haven’t seen The Jerk, you should.

The Wedding Ringer (2015)

The Wedding Ringer (2015)

4/10

Starring

Kevin Hart

Josh Gad

Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting

Directed by Jimmy Garelick

A friend told me I’d enjoy The Wedding Ringer, even though I’m not a Kevin Hart fan and didn’t fancy his other film, Get Hard (2015).

The Wedding Ringer was better than Get Hard when it came to the individual characters because, here, I did get to appreciate Hart’s acting—and Josh Gad’s too. But when you add them and the rest of the cast, what you get is a group of people who don’t seem to gel at all. Then there’s the story, which was so lame and out-of-the-window dull that if it weren’t for scenes like a dog biting Josh Gad’s character, Doug, on his genitals, or the scene where Gretchen (played by Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting—Doug’s soon-to-be wife) picks a song for their wedding that happens to be the same song she and her ex-lover had playing the first time they made love, I would’ve stopped watching this movie way earlier.

The movie’s plot is very odd. Jimmy (Kevin Hart) is what you’d call a professional best man, offering best man services to men who lack friends to fill the role.

Doug is a man about to marry a woman out of his league, thrilled to be landing such a catch. Doug calls everyone he’s ever considered a friend to attend the wedding, but none agree to show up. So, he hires Jimmy to make the magic happen. Jimmy keeps things professional between the two and hires other men to pose for pictures with Doug, so they can pass as his friends and groomsmen.

Everything doesn’t go well for this wedding (I can’t say much to avoid spoilers). But the movie takes a surprising turn from the moment Gretchen chooses the wrong song until the end.

For me, crap is crap, but some good things on the side are what keep you watching. The Wedding Ringer had those good things on the side, even though the main dish was a total waste and tasted horrible.

Well, the good side of watching this movie, for me, is that I got to appreciate Kevin Hart as an actor—though I’m still struggling to find a movie that’ll change my perspective about him not being as funny as people say.

If you’ve missed this movie, I’d advise you to just keep moving—unless you’re one of those Kevin Hart fans who wouldn’t mind seeing him in a good role for once.

Batman Unlimited: Animal Instinct (2015)

Batman Unlimited: Animal Instinct (2015)

4/10

Starring the voice of

Roger Craig Smith

Dana Snyder

Chris Diamantopoulos

Directed by Butch Lukic

The animation started looking lame in the first five minutes. The drawings weren’t as exceptional as previous Warner Bros. animations, and I had to double-check on Wikipedia to confirm it was actually done by Warner Bros. The animation was annoying to watch because I know they could’ve done better—but maybe they were planning this to be a sequel or part of an upcoming series, so they didn’t pump much into the budget.

Then the story kicked off. It dragged for way too many minutes on what was supposed to be the story’s depth. I guess this is one of those projects that wasn’t meant to be a big money-maker, based on how the story went. But in the end, it felt more like a boring introduction to an interesting turn of events. If this hadn’t been a Batman animation, I would’ve gladly turned it off and probably missed the interesting parts later on.

I think (though I’m not sure) the reason I didn’t see this in the DC animated original movies list is because the movie and its sequel, Batman Unlimited: Monster Mayhem, are meant to be prequels to a set of animated series rather than a significant addition to the DC universe.

Another thing I didn’t quite agree with was how Flash was portrayed. The funny and useful Wally West (I believe it was Wally because the guy joked around a lot—unlike Barry Allen) is shown here as lame and clumsy, like a kid who just learned how to walk.

The other thing missing in this movie, which was supposed to be the origin of The Penguin (Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot), was… well, the origin of The Penguin. I guess they expected viewers to have seen the live-action TV series Gotham to understand who The Penguin was and why he was so bad.

Here’s the plot: Batman and his crew—Red Robin and Nightwing—are faced with attacks from various animalistic villains targeting high-risk places, but nothing seems to be missing. In the chaos, Green Arrow and Flash join in to help round up these criminals before they succeed in their plot—a plot none of them understands, except for the wealthy Oswald Cobblepot (The Penguin), who clearly has a hand in everything that’s going on.

This is a movie you can miss. Maybe plan on watching the sequel, Batman Unlimited: Monster Mayhem, and hope it’ll be better.

Terminator 5: Genisys (2015)

Terminator 5: Genisys (2015)

6/10

Starring

Arnold Schwarzenegger

Jason Clarke

Emilia Clarke

Jai Courtney

Directed by Alan Taylor

This movie isn’t fantastic, but it was okay, and I enjoyed it enough. I’ve seen worse movies get sequels, so this isn’t a bad watch. But I can understand how hard it can be to continue watching a franchise when you know the studio is trying to milk the life out of it. This franchise’s heyday was in the ’80s. One thing I’ll criticize severely in this movie is the plot. It seems all over the place, and that’s the thing with time-travel movies—if you don’t keep it simple, you’ll end up with a lot of plot holes that fans can find very annoying.

The warmth of having the T-800 (Model 101) back in action and taking the lead after Christian Bale’s woeful attempt to make a Terminator movie without the Terminator we know was a highlight. The movie had it all for me: the emotional bond that developed between human and machine, the action, and the fight scenes, which were more fluid here than in Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991). The choreography was captivating.

It’s arguable that the TX in Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003) seemed like a more formidable foe for the T-800 than the T-3000 in this movie, but that’s just my view.

Wow!!! There’s no stopping Skynet and the eventual manifestation of Judgment Day. Every time we see a Terminator movie, Judgment Day gets postponed, and the Earth is safe for a few more years.

Thanks to scenes after the credits—yep, there’s going to be a Terminator 6 and possibly a Terminator 7, as long as this one and the sixth make enough cash to convince the studio to finish the trilogy.

Here’s how the movie went: John Connor (Jason Clarke) sends Kyle Reese (Jai Courtney) back in time to save his mother, Sarah Connor (Emilia Clarke), and become his father in 1984. That’s how the Terminator story usually goes, but things changed this time.

During the time travel, Kyle sees John killed by a Terminator (T-5000, played by Matt Smith), and when he arrives in 1984, there’s another Terminator waiting to kill him—a T-1000.

Kyle runs and is saved by Sarah Connor, who introduces him to the T-800 (Model 101), played by Arnold Schwarzenegger. The past is all messed up, and in this version of 1984, there’s more than one Terminator running around.

Kyle soon discovers that when Sarah was nine years old, she and her family were attacked by a Terminator, which killed her entire family. She was saved by a T-800, whom she now calls “Pops.” The T-800 raised her and taught her how to defend herself, preparing her for 1984, where she would meet Kyle Reese.

The mystery in this plot is: Who sent the T-800 back in time to save Sarah when she was nine?

The plot continues to thicken, and our three heroes (Sarah, Kyle, and the T-800) must stop Skynet before it takes over the world.

By the end of the movie, there’s an upgrade in favor of our old T-800 (Model 101), as he’s upgraded to a T-1000 with mimetic poly-alloy (liquid metal). The whole idea was to have him ready for future sequels, but this idea was killed because the movie kind of messed up the whole story with its very convoluted plot.

All of Me (1984)

All of Me (1984)

6/10

Starring

Steve Martin

Lilly Tomlin

Directed by Carl Reiner

I saw this movie when I was much younger, and the line that stuck in my head was:
“Back in the bowl.”
And the scene I recall clearly is the idea of a blind man drinking water containing a soul, thinking it was whiskey.

This movie is crazy, funny, and fantastic—there’s nothing wrong with it at all. I felt Steve Martin’s performance was over-the-top and memorable. For me, a good movie isn’t good if I can’t remember the fun moments. When I wanted to see this movie again, I spent time on my site and recalled the good times I had watching it way back when.

The movie’s plot is about a lawyer, Roger Cobb (Steve Martin), who is ready to do anything to become a partner at his law firm. He’s sent to manage and oversee the estate of Edwina Cutwater (Lily Tomlin), worth over $20 million.

Roger takes the assignment, only to meet the lady and discover that after she dies, she wants her soul taken out of her body and placed in a bowl by a spiritual specialist. The soul is then supposed to be transferred into the daughter of her stable hand. Roger finds everything going on to be nuts and storms off after making things rather unpleasant in Edwina’s house. But Edwina arranges a meeting with his bosses and dies there.

Her soul is taken out of her body and placed into the bowl, which then falls and ends up in Steve Martin’s head.

I love the advancements of this millennium—you can now seek out your favorite movies from the past online and pay a few dollars to watch them. I don’t have to fumble around looking for a video store that kept old relics like this one.

The movie’s plot might seem pitiable and could make you uninterested at first glance, but that’s not the case with All of Me. The movie is funny, and the crazy plot develops into a hilarious ride.

I read somewhere that there’s an attempt to remake this movie. To me, that would be a very risky investment. This movie is great, but deciding to do a reboot based on the same story? I don’t think many will enjoy it.

So, if you’re in the mood for some Steve Martin fun, All of Me should definitely be added to your list for a Steve Martin movie fest.

Frenzy (1972)

Frenzy (1972)

6/10

Starring

Jon Finch

Alec McCowen

Barry Foster

Directed by Alfred Hitchcock

Frenzy is one of the few British movies Alfred Hitchcock made after moving to America. It is a well thought through movie, with enough riddles to keep you engaged. The movie is well done, and the way things played out, I didn’t suspect they’d go that way from the beginning.
If anyone else did, then they’re better at riddles than I am, because the movie starts with a murder and an introduction to what we’re about to be involved with: a serial killer who’s a sadistic sexual predator. It then shifts focus to people who have nothing to do with the murder at hand.

The movie takes us into the life of a man, Dick Blaney, whose luck seems to have run out as everything is going wrong for him. He’s at the losing end of everything. The movie further introduces more people, like the detective trying to solve the case and his very intelligent wife, who seems to be taking some kind of cooking class.

The movie adds even more characters to this twisting plot: Blaney’s wife, his girlfriend, and his very annoying boss.

Now, here’s the masterpiece of Hitchcock. There’s a side character we see once or twice at the beginning of the movie. He doesn’t have much screen time early on, unlike the others mentioned above. Then, all of a sudden, he shows up in an unexpected place, and here we have the murderer. The focus of the movie shifts from everyone else to him.

Here we have a murderer on the loose and a man wrongfully accused of the crime, going to jail for it. We also have an inspector who isn’t convinced he has the right man and continues to investigate.

I have to be honest—I was blown away by the masterful way Hitchcock directed this movie. The way the focus switches, making you wonder how everything will tie together, is brilliant. The moment Blaney walks out of his wife’s office after knocking and getting no answer, all the pieces start to fall into place.

You have to see this movie for Hitchcock’s masterful directing. I think this is one movie anyone who wants to make a thriller should watch before they take a seat in the director’s chair.

If you like thrillers and good suspense, Frenzy is for you. It is worth noting it is not one of the best Hitchcock movies to see, but it is still worth seeing.

The Man Who Knew Too Much (1956)

The Man Who Knew Too Much (1956)

6/10

Starring

James Stewart

Doris Day

Directed by Alfred Hitchcock

Que Sera, Sera—Whatever will be, will be.
That’s the popular song by Doris Day from the movie The Man Who Knew Too Much.

I liked this movie for its pace. Alfred Hitchcock was at the helm as director and producer, and this movie was a Technicolor remake of his 1934 film of the same name.
I haven’t seen the original, but I’ve read that this version is much better, even though both movies differ in tone and setting. Both were successful and received critical acclaim.

Here’s a thriller from the master of suspense himself that will keep you guessing all the way. Hitchcock managed to make me, the viewer, watch a movie where a doctor and his famous musician wife try to foil (and succeed in foiling) what seems like a mind-boggling plan to assassinate the British Prime Minister.
Both characters get sucked into the matter when the man sent to foil the assassination suspects them of being the perpetrators.

The movie starts slow, introducing the characters and immediately making you, the watcher, suspicious of everything that’s going on. It’s so masterfully done that you and Josephine Conway "Jo" McKenna (Doris Day) seem to be the only ones suspecting that something’s up with the way things coincidentally happen.

What I liked about this is that, in many movies today, you, the viewer, often feel wiser about what’s going on than the characters themselves—usually because you get to see the bad guys before they do. Here, we’re suspicious alongside Jo McKenna, wondering why Dr. Benjamin "Ben" McKenna (James Stewart, a longtime collaborator of Hitchcock, who saw him as a creative partner) doesn’t seem to notice the strange coincidences occurring.
When things start to unfold and the movie introduces the players behind the plot, we’re shocked along with the characters at the unfortunate turn of events.

The movie begins with the introduction of a Frenchman who seems very inquisitive about the McKenna couple, Ben and Jo. He’s curious about where they’ve been and what they’re up to in Morocco. His constant questioning puts Jo on edge, and she urges her husband, Ben, to stop sharing so much with this overly curious man.

The couple then runs into another pair, whom Jo also finds odd. She suspects they’ve been following them for some time. Ben chalks it all up to coincidence, and they spend time with the couple—a decision that ends up involving them in a murder and an assassination conspiracy.
To top it off, their son gets kidnapped, and they’re warned not to say a word about what they know to the police.

Masterfully done and worth watching, here’s another Alfred Hitchcock masterpiece.

Entourage (2015)

Entourage (2015)

3/10

Starring

Kevin Connolly

Adrian Grenier

Kevin Dillon

Jerry Ferrara

Jeremy Piven

Directed by Doug Ellin

I can bet that, like anyone who loved the series, I never thought Entourage could do any harm with screen time. Sadly, there’s something called too much Vincent Chase and his guys, because I got bored of seeing them.
This movie is bad on many levels and boring on others. No wonder many didn’t rush to the cinema to see it after the bad reviews it got from critics. Like others, I backed away from the movie, contributing to its financial loss.

When a series you love decides to make a full-length movie, there’s nothing stopping you from seeing it, right?
Wrong. Bad reviews can.

Entourage was well-celebrated, and I loved the series. The amount of love it got from fans led HBO and Warner Bros. Pictures to believe that even with a crappy screenplay and a worthless script, all they had to do was make a movie with the same cast, fill it with enough cameos, and it would make $20 million in the first week. Boy, did we surprise them…

They just had to wreck it. They couldn’t leave us with the nice HBO ending we had. Instead, we had to struggle through 90 minutes of total crap to come to the same conclusions as the critics. I guess my problem was that the movie had nothing new to offer. There was no challenge—all we got to see was the cast’s triumphs.

Get my point? The same way good news is no news—if everything was fine in the world, CNN would be out of business. The same goes for movies. There’s got to be a challenge somewhere for a movie to stick in your mind and keep you captivated.

To be honest, E’s (Vince’s manager) story in the movie was more interesting than the whole movie itself. But then, writer Doug Ellin (who also directed, wrote the screenplay, and produced with Mark Wahlberg) and Rob Weiss screwed that up too. I was genuinely surprised they did.

Contains Spoilers
The movie played a new tune: E had two women pregnant at the same time, only for us to find out it wasn’t true. How long did that suspense last? About 10 minutes. So, to me, the only good thing in the movie was those 10 minutes of wondering if E was going to be the father of two children from two different women.

The movie’s plot is simple: Vince is divorced, E is divorced, and the bachelor crew is back. Vince wants to make a movie where he gets to direct. Ari Gold is set to be the executive producer and will finance the movie alongside other co-financiers.

The problem Vince faces is that the movie is getting too expensive to finish, and the whole plot revolves around him trying to get more money from Ari to complete it.

Do yourself a favor and skip this train wreck of a movie.

Ant-Man (2015)

Ant-Man (2015)

6/10

Starring

Paul Rudd

Evangeline Lilly

Corey Stoll

Michael Douglas

Directed by Peyton Reed

This will be the first Marvel/Disney movie I’ve seen that I can say wasn’t totally impactful when it came to the action and explosions. The movie started off slow, and once the excitement of seeing him shrink down with the ants and take on Falcon from the Avengers was over, everything else the movie had to offer wasn’t top-tier enough to be memorable.

For me, seeing Hank Pym was the highlight, and Michael Douglas delivered. Paul Rudd was the lead, but Michael Douglas stole the show for me. That said, the movie was very light on the action I expected, especially compared to previous Marvel movies. Looking ahead to the next set of Marvel movies, this will likely be seen as good but not quite good enough to compete with the others.

I’m not much of an Ant-Man fan, and I was expecting to see Hank Pym (Michael Douglas), the scientist, in the suit. But this Ant-Man movie focuses on Scott Lang (Paul Rudd), whose mentor is Hank Pym, as Hank has retired from wearing the suit.

At Hank’s company, his protégé Darren is desperate to understand the theory and magic behind the Ant-Man’s abilities, which led to Hank pushing him aside. Eventually, Darren had Hank voted off the board of his own company.

Now, Darren (Corey Stoll) has figured out how to make the Ant-Man suit and is ready to sell it to the highest bidder—but not if Hank Pym has anything to say about it. Hank monitored, watched, and trained Scott Lang, with the help of his daughter Hope (Evangeline Lilly), to make him suitable to wear the Ant-Man costume. Scott’s task was simple: break into Hank’s former company, steal the prototype suit from Darren, and destroy every document and detail that could lead to its recreation.

While this isn’t the best Marvel Universe movie, it’s also not the worst, so go see it.
The movie solidifies the idea that Marvel—or rather, Marvel’s owner, Disney—wants to stay in the PG zone. For me, Disney is playing it safe with its movies, making sure everyone can watch them.
DC Comics, on the other hand, owned by Warner Bros., is playing on the other side of the fence. Their movies, including the upcoming ones, are usually R-rated.

Ant-Man is fun to watch and captivating, to say the least. There aren’t many explosions, but there’s enough implosion to go around.

Mission: Impossible - Rouge Nation (2015)

Mission: Impossible - Rouge Nation (2015)

8/10

Starring

Tom Cruise

Jeremy Renner

Simon Pegg

Rebecca Ferguson

Ving Rhames

Sean Harris

Alec Baldwin

Directed by Christopher McQuarrie

Mission: Impossible 5: Gadgets Galore, better known as Rogue Nation, is the fifth (and not the final) installment in the Mission: Impossible series. It can arguably stand its ground as one of the best in the franchise.

You’ll accept this fact about 60 minutes into the movie. Get ready to be amazed as Tom Cruise, playing Ethan Hunt, delivers one of his best performances yet. He has officially stamped himself as an action hero, delivering impressive stunts and great acting as usual to cement the point.

J.J. Abrams is producing this film again, and Christopher McQuarrie is in the director’s seat. This is McQuarrie’s second movie with Cruise as the lead action hero, the first being Jack Reacher in 2012.

Cruise hasn’t delivered an exceptional movie or box office hit in a while. His performances in Jack Reacher (2012) and Oblivion (2013) have become questionable. While Jack Reacher (2012) did well at the box office, both it and Oblivion (2013) didn’t have the strongest scripts. Edge of Tomorrow (2014), on the other hand, was a wonderful movie, but it wasn’t a box office hit. This made me eager to see Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation. The movie is exceptional and is guaranteed to be a box office sensation in the months to come.

The movie doesn’t stray far from the usual Mission: Impossible formula: a lot of running and shooting, some over-the-top stunts, espionage, and excellent cinematography.

Ethan Hunt is after the Syndicate, but this time, the bad guys get the jump on our IMF agent. Instead of killing him (which would’ve been the most reasonable thing to do), they decide to keep him for questioning.

Put two and two together, and he breaks free. But by the time Ethan escapes, the IMF has been dissolved by CIA Director Alan Hunley (Alec Baldwin), who has marked Ethan as most wanted and deployed his tactical team to hunt him down. Now, Ethan is on the run from the U.S. government, with help from his former teammate, IMF agent William Brandt (Jeremy Renner).
Brandt does everything he can, even recruiting former agent Luther Stickell (Ving Rhames) to help find Ethan and keep Hunley off his tail.

Ethan recruits Benji Dunn (Simon Pegg) to help chase down the Syndicate leader, and the whole team (Ethan, Benji, Luther, and Brandt) reunites to kick off the mission.

For me, aside from Cruise, Simon Pegg delivered a wonderful performance, making this movie a must-watch the moment you get the time—or better still, make time for it.

Hot Pursuit (2015)

Hot Pursuit (2015)

2/10

Starring

Reese Witherspoon

Sofia Vergara

Directed by Anne Fletcher

If there were no more movies on this earth and this happened to be the last movie ever made, I still wouldn’t re-watch it. In fact, if this were the last movie ever made, I’d feel sorry for mankind. What a load of crap. The movie is like watching a man’s heart monitor 10 seconds before he dies. It starts, and 10 seconds in, it flatlines and stays that way until the screen goes black.

My biggest issue with this movie is writing the review after seeing it. There’s nothing to say—the movie is just bad. It stands as an example of how not to make a comedy. To be honest, except for the girls, everyone else in this movie will really need a good comeback.

Director Anne Fletcher should stick to choreography—at least there, I know she can deliver. But when it comes to movie directing, she needs to brush up. The producers, on the other hand, blew it. They had Reese Witherspoon and Sofia Vergara in their hands. All they had to do was come up with a decent script, and people would’ve been sold. The script didn’t need to be a masterpiece—just good—and it would’ve worked. Such a simple task, and they couldn’t pull it off.

When the credits rolled and I saw the mistakes the pair made during filming, the only thing I could say was, “Wow!”
I couldn’t believe a movie with these two stars could suck this much. Even if this were a B-movie, it would still be horrible. The plot is no good, the lines aren’t funny, and the scenes are so over-the-top silly and stupid that you’ll watch this movie in sheer amazement.

I read online that the pair were good, and the movie was bad, but I beg to differ. The pair was bad, and the movie was worse. There’s no memorable moment in the movie, and the ending, which was supposed to be the twist to bring home a powerful conclusion, ended up being lame and a total waste of film reel.

The movie’s plot follows Officer Rose Cooper (Reese Witherspoon), who is tasked with escorting a federal witness, Daniella Riva (Sofia Vergara), to Texas so she can testify against a known drug lord.

The movie is about their journey and how corrupt cops and others try to kill them and stop them from reaching Texas.