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Kate (2021)

Kate (2021)

 


3/10


Starring

Mary Elizabeth Winstead

Miku Martineau

Woody Harrelson

 

Directed by Cedric Nicolas-Troyan

 

When you sit down to watch Kate, you get from the start that this is something you have seen before and I guess the producers felt it is ok for them to do it again. I think the best way to rate this film is to let you know it is a B-movie with subpar graphics. The car chase looked like something they lifted from the video game Need for Speed. While everything else in the movie were derivatives from other movies to which we have seen concerning female assassins and their controllers, get into sticky situations.

When numerous movies start to feel alike there is no longer a thrill, you can guess your way through from the first minute down. How the makers now expect you in a good conscience recommend this movie to another person to see, beats me?

The movie had a flat take on its own story and the characters (except for Kate) were just redundant and bland. All through you are made to feel like you are waiting for something to happen, which never does.

So, what is Kate?

You start with a character (Kate the assassin) who grew a conscience when it came to a kill. Because as you can guess, the kill’s daughter was present. Well Kate carries on with the job even though she tired to object to it and we now have a devasted daughter. At this point you will be able to guess that circumstances will add-up and series of unfortunate events will bring the two together.

Fast-forward to a one-night stand and Kate gets poisoned with a radioactive element which now gives her one day to leave. She gathers up some adrenaline shots and goes hunting for the bad guy who she believes was behind her poisoning.

It turns out, the suspected man as you can guess is related to the person she killed and is the uncle of the little girl. Kate kidnaps the girl with only one thing in mind, getting the bad guy to show up so she can kill him and die in peace.

This lack of innovation is caked with bad CGI, weird gun fights, plot holes and some not so necessary incidents that only makes you question if the makers think you are dumb.

This movie is on Netflix, and I believe Netflix needs to step up on all the trashy skip worthy movies they have had their hands in now adays.

Mary Elizabeth Winstead on her own, took the movie more seriously than the movie itself deserved.

Cinderella (2021)

Cinderella (2021)

 


2/10


Starring

Camila Cabello

Idina Menzel

Minnie Driver

Nicholas Galitzine

Billy Porter

Pierce Brosnan


Directed by Kay Cannon


This Amazon Prime musical comedy starred Camila Cabello as Cinderella. We kick of with a very nice musical number of Rhythm Nation (Janet Jackson) and You Gotta Be (Des'ree), merged together ever so nicely. As you will expect Cabello did some solid singing, for which I have no reason to complain. After that, everything that follows is bulls#@t.

(This review contains spoilers, which is odd to say because if you do not know the Cinderella story by now, you must have had a weird childhood)

It takes a lot of energy to go through this movie without pulling your own hairs out. The writers’ decision to make a woke girl power/women liberation movie and base it on a Cinderella plot goes over my head. Who signed off on this trash?

The movie’s women message totally steamrolls everything else. This is supposed to be a modernized Cinderella story, but what we get instead is a washed off girl power script with no spice.

I never recalled the Cinderella story having a space open for Cinderella trying to kick off her own business. Well in this plot After the regular intro of Cinderella, the wicked stepmother, step sisters and the prince we discover that Cinderella is a dress maker with a desire to start her own business. It just so happens in the kingdom she lives women are not allowed to own businesses. At this point I should have stopped watching. But something stupid in me soldiered on. Then the regular Cinderella things happen, with some changes here and there to make the movie a lot different, but not different enough that you will not forget this is a Cinderella story. The time for the ball came and who do we have, a fairy godmother that is of a male gender, correction a man wanting to be addressed as a woman. We skip through that and we get closer to the main magic, the lost shoe. At this point I notice that the movie is filled with more cameos of British comedians that I have come to love when I watched British panel shows like, Taskmaster, 8 out of 10 Cats, Would I Lie to You, QI and Mock the Week.

Even all these cameos meant nothing to lift the mood of the trash I was being fed. Fairy godmother does her magic and Cinderella had a dress for the ball with a magical carriage and everything almost similar to the Disney animated version. She gets to the ball, she and the prince falls in love and when it was midnight she had to run off and leave him behind with one shoe, because at midnight all the magic ends. The prince as you can guess is heartbroken and needs to find his love. Now here is where the writers messed up again.

The old tale had its plot holes, but this one decided to make the holes so big it could suck in the whole earth. The Prince had met seen Cinderella twice before their ball meeting. Even the king, in the end recognized her as haven seen her before. But the Prince seems to be so dunce that he would marry anyone whose leg fit the shoe, when he already knew who it was that he is looking for. At this point I was like can we stop the whole shoe leg hunt and just hunt for the girl. But nope, the writers wanted to stick to this part of the story. Now the stupid thing about this is that, in the story they are modifying from, the prince never met Cinderella. Knowing that, shoe hunt (which you would want to believe is a magical shoe and would only fit Cinderella) kinda added up, with all things considering. Here it made no sense at all.

Then the end has Cinderella and the Prince marry and live happily ever after. The king can now rest knowing that the crown can be passed to the prince with a worthy bride at his side. Sike!!! that did not happen. Even that normal ending they messed it up. I was so shocked that it was possible to mess up, and they live happily ever after.

Cinderella and the Prince decided not to marry at once that they wanted to spend their time getting to know each other first. What the hell?

Prince Harry and Megan Markle’s life was also introduced into this mess of movie. The couple who have decided to date, also relinquish their title and the crown passed on to the Prince’s sister.

Watch at your own risk.

Victor Frankenstein (2015)

Victor Frankenstein (2015)


6/10

 

Starring

Daniel Radcliffe

James McAvoy

Jessica Brown Findlay

Andrew Scott

 

Directed by Paul McGuigan

 

This movie is a sci-fi fantasy based on a contemporary adaptation of Mary Shelley's 1818 book, Frankenstein or The Modern Prometheus.

This movie is a bizarre idea trotting down a new path deciding not to focus on what we all look forward to, Frankenstein’s monster. Instead, it gives us the drama before the creation. The lives affected along the way and the changes that obsession can cause. I see many reviewers complain about the missed opportunity because in the last moments of the film the monster was created, and it turned out to be a zombie. We get to see the monster for like 5 minutes and it wanted to kill all before it, acting out animal instincts rather than anything intelligent. Victor’s experience of this sort of behavior happened earlier in the movie when he wanted to save a creature, he created regardless of the lives it would have killed. This time his life was on the line and what people saw as missed opportunity I saw as a certain realism. Who will not try to save his own life when the thing you created refuse to reason and wants to take your life?

The characters and their written actions in this movie is what I feel was a hit too many in the re-imaging of this story, the movie was written to have a gloom cloud hanging over it.

The movie sets this tone right from the start. Igor (Daniel Radcliffe) is seen as a hunchback who works in a circus. This hunchback has a thing for human anatomy and has read so much and can be looked upon as a physician. He is however mistreated in the circus in many gruesome ways. He is made to act as a clown, sometimes thrown into a cage and treated like a property. Victor Frankenstein (James McAvoy) came to his rescue from the circus after witnessing Igor do some sort of medical genius when a lady fell from the trapeze. You will think the cruel mistreating will end. But Victor even though he was miles better in the mistreatment of Igor, it felt like the movie wanted to maintain a somber mood all through. When things seem to lighten, for example Igor meeting someone and growing towards being a better image of himself, a dark thing will happen that will result in either his feelings being sidelined for Victor’s own purpose or some sort of incident that makes his gloom.

The romantic incident in Igor’s life was not well crafted. I feel they should have just left romance out of this totally. But then, I guess they wanted Igor to have an end which had nothing to do with Victor.

Victor on the other hand, after creating his first monster which he tried to save, but then had to kill – did this fit in front of a man who he wanted some form of sponsorship from. The man agreed to sponsor their work, so Victor and Igor can make a man.

Chasing this duo is an officer, a man who is so religious in everything that he figured out Victor’s plans in the most unrealistic genius way. As in there were no clues or anything solid enough that anyone in his shoes could have put together to figure this out. But this man, thanks to some divine intervention did.

He is after the two because he knows what they are up to and wants to stop them because it is against God’s will.

The movie is a nice one to see, from my books except for the shortcomings here and there.

Mortal Kombat Legends: Battle of the Realms (2021)

Mortal Kombat Legends: Battle of the Realms (2021)

 


5/10

Starring the voices of:

Patrick Seitz

Jordan Rodrigues

Joel McHale

Jennifer Carpenter


Directed by Ethan Spaulding


I guess it is the final countdown, the animation is R-rated and almost as bloody as Scorpion’s Revenge, but the fights are not as fun. In this here iteration of the Mortal Kombat story, we have the Earthrealm and the Outworld come to an agreement for one final battle to end all battles. Here is what I do not get in the whole Mortal Kombat stuff. What was the point of the Mortal Kombat when Shao Kahn could just overlook the rules and invade earth. Which he did and was doing a good job at it, before he decided to do a final Mortal Kombat.

Mortal Kombat is a video game turned animation with numerous movies, but all of them have maintained the same setting. Mortal Kombat was the setting the elder gods have put in place for any such merger of worlds. Shao Kahn lost in the movie Scorpion’s Revenge (click to get more depth into the story), but still invaded. I was like, what is now the point of the Mortal Kombat and why are the elder gods not doing anything to put in line the rules they have set in place.

While this was happening, we have Shinnok, working hard in the background now that his man (Quan Chi) has been killed, to try and merge some form of god together. The whole of this endeavour is to undo all the realms the elder gods have done.

Well, the animation style is very similar to the previous movie before, Scorpion’s Revenge, but the story is not as interesting.

Unlike the nice fight settings and nice walk though battles of Scorpion’s Revenge, we have a pit like fit setting in this one.

I hope the next upcoming Mortal Kombat movie will not result to this lazy style.

We get to see some new characters from the game, but few mattered. The new Sub Zero we are all used to in the games from Mortal Kombat 2 video game downwards, is present with his aim now set on revenge on Scorpion who killed his brother. So we have like three stories all running side by side and merging in the center when it seems like all was well, then as you can guess, it wasn’t.

I feel the whole idea of this new animation lost its place the moment they decided to nullify the whole point of the Mortal Kombat. I can get when the games keep doing that, but it is a fighting video game. People like me do not care what the story is or who killed who in the main plot, we just want to hold the pad and fight.

They could have just made Shao Kahn do his petition for a new tournament, change the rules of the frequency and just carry on from there. Instead of just making the whole first animation look irrelevant.

Then nice work on the level up of Liu Kang (sarcasm). If Raiden knew the key to his level up was, “your parents loved you” he should have said that in the first animation, instead of standing there and watch him almost die.

Mortal Kombat Legends: Scorpion's Revenge (2020)

Mortal Kombat Legends: Scorpion's Revenge (2020)

 


7/10

Starring the voices of:

Patrick Seitz

Steve Blum

Jordan Rodrigues

Darin De Paul

Joel McHale

Jennifer Carpenter


Directed by Ethan Spaulding


When the new animated Mortal Kombat Legends movie came out, I recall not being able to remember anything about the first one. Watching it again is fun. The animation is R-rated and it is not shy of being bloody. The animation sets the stage similar to the Mortal Kombat movie released a year after.

In the story area the movie has a very easy plot to follow and animation wise, I have to hand it to WarnerBros, they have that area locked. When it comes to animation of the characters they have in license whether it be D.C. or as we see here Mortal Kombat, they seem to do enough. Enough to cover the fighting and the movements. They do not go as crazy as Disney does, but do a fantastic job no matter.

Do not watch this movie, with the hope of finally understanding everything there is about the Mortal Kombat story. It is a video game adaption like many other video game adaptions, some of the stories do not have a strong foot in. If you catch the gist from he initial setting thanks to Quan Chi letting us in about the fights between the three realms Netherrealm, Earthrealm and Outworld. With Earthrealm being the choice meat on the table, you practically know all there is to know already.

The animation starts with the introduction of Netherealm champion Scorpion Hanzo Hasashi. We see his clan and family being murdered by Sub Zero and, he too killed. He finds himself in the Netherealm where he was able to overcome the torturers, killing them hoping to meet Shinnok, only to find Quan Chi. Who told him he will get his chance for revenge on Sub Zero, if he fights for the Netherealm in Mortal Kombat.

If you carry on watching, we meet Shang Tsung a nine time winner of the tournament who hopes to win it the tenth time so his master Shao Kahn can claim Earthrealm. Outworld is hosting the tournament and Shang Tsung is like the MC. Defending earth is the Lord Raiden who gathers his own warriors so as to save Earthrealm from being the meal. His warriors here are Liu Kang, Sonya Blade and Johnny Cage.

As you would expect, they played Sonya as an uptight character who was more annoying than entertaining. Johnny Cage as clueless, but funny and Liu Kang is the boy scout. Also present from Earthrealm is Jax, who got caught in the middle of this and gets his arms ripped out.

So you have the fun of watching how everything plays out, Earthrealm defending itself, Scorpion seeking his revenge and Raiden trying to keep everything settle and on the straight narrow.

This Direct-to-video is fun and amazing to watch.

Maid in Manhattan (2002)

Maid in Manhattan (2002)

 


6/10


Starring

Jennifer Lopez

Ralph Fiennes

Natasha Richardson


Directed by Wayne Wang


In short, this movie is not spectacular, just done in the most simplest way, treading carefully not to digress from the generic Cinderella plot. If you have seen any movie with the Cinderella plot line dressed up, you have seen this.

I recall in the early 2000s, when my sister practically begged me to watch this flick and I stayed away as much as I can because. One, I did not know who Jennifer Lopez (JLO) was back then and two, as a young adult all I wanted to see was action films. This Rom-Com was a hit back then among the ladies and I have seen it so many times after.

This is not one of JLO’s best acting work and the script had holes here and there, but the soundtrack and the story is always fresh anytime I sit to re-watch. The movie is easy on the eye and easy to follow. I can point out many things in this movie which fall short of a good work but my love for the late Natasha Richardson grew in this movie. For me she was one of the few cast members who made this movie worth seeing again and again. The chemistry between JLO and Ralph Fiennes was not there, and the story is easy as it is the generic Cinderella story with no spark. Just something simple for people like me who just want to sit through an easy movie that reminds us of the past and not care much.

The plot is about a maid (Marisa, JLO) in a hotel who when trying on clothes of one of the guest (she did a bad thing) was met by a popular figure (Chris, Fiennes) who met her through her son. She was pushed to go on a walk with Chris by her co-worker as her son wanted to take a walk with initially and sought her permission to go. Since the co-worker and Marisa did not expect this to turn into anything, they could not handle the romance that kindle between the two on their walk.

Now Chris is hooked and wants to meet with Marisa again, but he thinks she is the guest of the suite and when he sent an invite to the room someone else shows up.

He soon finds her again, and wants to go out with her and she has to worry about her job and the others she has dragged into this lie she is in.

The movie did well in the box-office even though it was not a critical hit. It is one of those movies who was so popular which got remade in other countries. In fact there is a Telenovela version running based on this tale.

For me, this is one of those movies that gives me a fun nostalgia of my time growing up.

He’s All That (2021)

He’s All That (2021)

 


2/10

Starring

Addison Rae

Tanner Buchanan

Madison Pettis

Rachael Leigh Cook


Directed by Mark Waters


If I could rate this movie lower I would, but this is the worst I can go acknowledging that at least someone sat on a chair and screamed “action” when production started.

I was fourteen when She's all That (1999) was released and I have seen it so many times I cannot count. The movie is a 90s classic for people like us, a leaving homage to high school rom-com when it was at its heights. This movie however is a cringy embarrassment to She's all That. This remake where there is a switch in the gender, is like a ninety minute long TikTok video that goes on and on and on.

I do not know who Addison Rae is, but thanks to this movie I will forever avoid her movies. She is the reason why people go to acting classes and why some people get paid as acting coaches. She is honorably bad at acting, even a Razzie Award for this will be too much for the massacre she did in this movie. This movie is best left ignored.

Following the main plot of the main movie, we have the lead girl in high school Padgett (Addison Rae) dating the leading man in high school. When he screws up their relationship, she accepted a challenge from her friends to turn the school's least popular boy, Cameron (Tanner Buchanan), into prom king. I recall She's all That did the turn around with some form of respect for the characters involved. In this remake the whole makeover appeared insulting. The whole be yourself social media stand, got drowned in this movie.

So in order to maintain her place as top girl and getting revenge on her boyfriend for messing up their relationship, Padgett accepts the challenge.

In the end all I enjoyed was seeing Rachel Leigh Cook again, but what the hell was she doing in this movie. She was miles and miles away in acting proficiency than the lead Rae, who played her daughter. They murdered everything from the classic, the “I was a bet” reveal almost made me puke.

Well I guess this is what passes for movies now, an onslaught of bad acting, terrible script and people just talking. If you can recall the magical soundtrack of She's all That well, they did not even keep that. They went ahead to get an artist (Cyn) unknown to me and she covered the popular song from the movie Kiss Me, by Sixpence None the Richer. I feel as bad as this movie was, they should have at least kept that, her version was almost similar, just step down from the magnificent track of the 90s.

There is no reason to watch this, but it is floating in Netflix.