Shrek the Third (2007)

Shrek the Third (2007)

3/10

Starring

Mike Myers

Eddie Murphy

Cameron Diaz

Antonio Banderas

Rupert Everett

Jennifer Saunders

Julie Andrews

 

Directed by Chris Miller

This is what happens when you drag a story out longer than you should. Shrek the Third (or Shrek 3) lacked everything—except the characters—that made the first two movies such classic fun. The animation wasn’t funny, the adventure wasn’t interesting, and Charming was far too simplistic to be a compelling villain. Everything about the plot felt wrong, and every path they took to the ending was a dead-end for humor. Unlike the first two movies (Shrek and Shrek 2), where I laughed along with the fun, this one didn’t even make me smile. It just left me frowning in disappointment.

They tried to add a fatherhood dynamic to the story by giving Shrek the challenge of caring for someone younger and inexperienced in life. To achieve this, they completely mishandled the supporting cast. Donkey was full of words but had no jokes or quirky comments that landed. Puss had all the charm drained out of him, leaving little reason to care about what he said. And the princesses? They were reduced to tired stereotypes, sitting around waiting for their princes to rescue them.

If you’re like me and going through the Shrek movies, you’ve probably reached the same conclusion I did: no wonder I couldn’t remember anything about this one. Ladies and gentlemen, it was that bad.

The setup had potential. Fiona’s parents are incapacitated—the king of Far Far Away is gravely ill, and his wife remains at his side. Shrek and Fiona are temporarily ruling in their place, which seemed like an exciting new dynamic to explore: Shrek and Fiona dealing with everyday life as rulers, away from their beloved swamp. Unfortunately, the writers must’ve thought that idea wouldn’t work because what they went with instead definitely didn’t work.

When the king is on his deathbed, he names Shrek and Fiona as his successors. As expected, Shrek doesn’t want the responsibility. What I didn’t expect was the ridiculous way they wrote him out of it. The solution? A man named Arthur Pendragon, who Shrek is sent to find so Arthur can take the throne instead. This could have been an easy win for the writers—after all, we’re all familiar with King Arthur and Merlin. Instead, they rewrote the legend in the worst way. Arthur is portrayed as a loser, and Merlin as a lunatic.

Shrek sets off on a journey to find Arthur, accompanied by his two best friends. But the entire journey—both there and back—is boring and uninspired. Meanwhile, back in Far Far Away, Charming has gathered an army and is taking over the kingdom by force. He plans to make a public spectacle of defeating Shrek, so capturing Fiona and the other princesses becomes part of his leverage strategy. 

The original voice cast returned to reprise their roles, with a few new additions. While the movie was a commercial success, it flopped critically with both reviewers and audiences.

For me, the main reasons for this disaster boil down to two things. First, the story arc was terrible, making everything about Arthur’s journey to Far Far Away a snoozefest. Second, the movie gave far too much screen time to its supporting cast, distracting us from the core characters we love and depriving viewers of the entertainment they were expecting.