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Gorgeous (1999)


Gorgeous (1999)


3/10


Starring
Jackie Chan
Shu Qi


Directed by Vincent Kok


What was this?

Gorgeous makes me feel like I wasted my money, time, and precious existence. I finished watching this movie and marked it as something I never want to see again. This is one of the worst movies you can watch, and definitely one of the worst Jackie Chan films I’ve seen. Jackie Chan decided to put the action on the backseat and dive into a romantic comedy, playing a character so annoying that you don’t wish him well.

Then there’s his co-star. She’s so out of place in this movie. Her acting feels like it’s decades behind when it comes to pulling off a convincing performance as a love interest. Put that next to Jackie Chan’s annoying character, and you have a movie you wish the two never met.

The story is weak, and the chemistry just isn’t there. Nothing in this movie worked.

The plot centers around a young girl living in Taiwan who finds a message in a bottle. The message is so romantic that she leaves home, flies to Hong Kong (where the message is from), and tries to find the writer. (I wonder which planet exists where that’s possible.)

When she does find him, she discovers that they can never be anything, and as she continues her way through Hong Kong, she meets a wealthy man named C.N. (Jackie Chan).

The two fall for one another, but their different backgrounds are one of their challenges. Also, to make sure Chan has a chance to throw a punch, we have his rival, who also owns a company. They meet regularly to slug it out.

In the end, the movie is a predictable run, leaving you wondering, What did I just watch?
The movie has no saving grace. Even the fighting wasn’t up to the level we know Chan can deliver.

Then there’s that end scene when Chan has to read a message from his love to inspire him to fight. Oh my God, that was so awkward, and the message itself is so stupid. It felt like the writers were tasked to come up with a line on the spot, and that was the best they could do. They used it midway into the movie, probably felt too late to change it, and ended up using it at the end. When I first heard the line, it felt like an inspiration to break my TV.

What a total waste of time.

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